saved | e.d.

46

ETHAN POV

grayson and i have been sitting on this dock for hours now, and the sun is beginning to set. but for some reason grayson won't let me stop telling him all my coma dreams.

every single detail about my alternate reality he wants to know. of course while i lived it, it felt like one continuous life, but looking back it's very patchy.

so in my head we were already years down the line in the span of a few months that i was coma ridden.

"keep talking." grayson still looks out and away from me like he's picturing my life for me.

*coma dream flashback*

"you know i love you, right?" her voice broke the silence. i felt my heart flutter and i smiled.

"yes and i love you." i replied looking down at her. she's semi laying on me while we watch a movie in bed.

"then i really need to tell you something and know that i'm being completely serious and if you don't want this then i understand i just need you to let me know, okay? truth only." i furrow my brows and nod my head.

she sits up and full faces me looking into my eyes. now i'm nervous.

"how do you feel about family?" she asks. i tilt my head in confusion and open my mouth to speak.

"what do you mean? like you and grayson and the gang?" she looks like she's back pedaling mentally and i'm worried.

"no i mean starting a family" she says i raise my eyebrows a bit and i can see her holding her breath.

"well i want kids, if that's what you mean." i pause and look at her for a second. "lex what's going on?" i ask.

"ethan i'm pregnant." she said very fast like she was mentally ripping off a bandaid. my jaw quite literally dropped and she looked at me like if i twinged my face the wrong way she would break.

"wait are you sure? when did- how far along- IM SO EXCITED!" i practically yelled causing her to smile and place her hand over my mouth.

"don't be so loud, i don't wanna jinx anything." she looked up at me with a soft smile. "so you're happy?"

i grabbed her hands and held them in mine while holding her gaze.

"this is the best day of my life." she smiled and attacked me in a hug and we just held eachother.

*end of flashback*

"look i'm all for my alternate life but reliving what i don't have is getting pretty shitty you know." i turned to grayson.

"what happened after?" he asked finally turning to look at me. his eyes showed nothing but absolute pain and sadness.

"you can guess what happened. you look like you're in no place to be listening to me talk about marrying and having kids with your girlfriend." i said and cringed because that sentence is just WRONG.

"she fell for you first, e. and deep down her and i both know she still has those feelings. no matter what you did to her. her heart belongs to you." he said.

"but it also belongs to you too. sure i thought we had lived our lives blaine free and built a family together. but you actually have her gray." i said trying to make him feel less lost than he looks. even though saying that actually rips my heart open.

"both of you stop." her voice rung in my ears like an angel but i just couldn't turn around. "you both have been gone for HOURS and i got worried so i found you." i heard her footsteps coming closer and i shut my eyes.

"i don't know what you two have accomplished for 4 hours sitting here, but i need to say something so could you both please look at me?" she sounded fed up, broken, upset, and over all sad.

grayson and i both stood up and turned around to look at her.

"grayson, you are absolutely amazing. you're kind, compassionate, and protective. you've been there for me time and time again and i'm so fucking thankful to have you in my life." that sounds super breakupy but alex is full of surprises and some how i know this won't end well.

"ethan, you hurt me in way i didn't think i could be hurt, but you cared for me in way nobody else had. you saved me from myself, and pretty much everyone else." she backed up and took a deep breath before looking between the two of us.

"but i can't do this to the both of you. i screwed up big time. i told grayson how much i was into you and you heard it. and that's all fine but then when you were unconscious and fighting for your life i got with your brother. and formed a relationship with him. and even thought i absolutely hate what you did to me ethan, it's my fault. i understand why you freaked out. i'm not mad at you anymore. i'm hurt but i'm not mad.

but in the end i refuse to get between you two. you guys are brothers. twins. family. so all i'm asking is for you both to just forget about me. let me go. you both need girls who will be good to you. and it's just not me." i opened my mouth to speak but she put her hands up.

"please don't. i promise i'm going to be fine. i always find a way. just fix your bond. and never let anyone mess with it again." she began to walk away and i just looked over to grayson stunned.

as if i wasn't completely broken before, i was now.

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A/N: OUH BRUH OUCH OUCH

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