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ethans pov:

her face went pale. and she looked like she died right then and there.

why did i have to say that?

i know who she is. it's lex. yes lex the love of my life lex.

why did i tell her i didn't know her? i don't know i freaked out.

it doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to see the way her and grayson were holding each other. i vividly remeber over hearing her confessing her feelings for me.

god there's so much i missed and i don't know what i'm doing.

and i just made it worse.

no turning back now.....

ALEX POV

my head started spinning as i felt like i was going to throw up. i hadn't even noticed that i was halfway out of the room until i looked up and ran into a nurse.

"sweetie are you alright?" he voice echoed in my head as if it was bouncing off of the walls in a closed room.

"i'm- i- he" grayson came outside and pulled me into him. my brain still wasn't for making complete thoughts and it felt like i was stuck.

"i'm so sorry alex...." he softly rubbed upper back in comfort and i began to cry. but like....the kind of cry that hurts so bad it's silent. your whole body shakes every time you forget to breathe in again because your head was that preoccupied.

i momentarily forgot i was even in the hospital still, until i brought my head back up to see a couple nurses looking at me sadly.

"i- i need to go home....i can't stay here i cant do this gray i need to go" i start to walk needing fresh air or something to make my head stop spinning.

"are you gonna be okay to drive? i can drive us home and have one of the guys bring me back?" he offered but i declined, shaking my head.

"i just please i need to be alone right now. i need to go" i said slightly pushing graysons hand off of me. i'm gonna feel super guilty about that later, but i can't think straight right now.

i walk out and circle the parking lot trying to find my car until i give up and set off the car alarm. i almost sprint to my car and get in.

as if i unleashed some barrier holding back way more than i expected, my body was overtook by a wave of six hundred trillion emotions all at once.

my body uncontrollably shook while i UGLY CRIED in the drivers seat. once i had calmed down a bit i began to drive home but somewhere took a different turn. i ended up at a park near by, and walked myself over to the stone picnic area in the middle of a beautiful field of grass.

i let my mind just stop for a moment, laying on my back on the concrete with my eyes closed.

i took that so hard. then i began to think. if grayson lost his memory and forgot who i was, would i be this upset?

and then i began to feel even more sick.

because the answer is no.

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A/N: short chapter i'm sorry

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