saved | e.d.

59

ALEX POV

the drive from the city to ethan and graysons house is about an hour long, but at the rate i was driving i made it there in 45 minutes.

i felt like if i didn't just get up and go i would've chickened out and went back home like a loser.

but the second i parked the car and got out, it's like my feet were glued to the ground. i decided instead of knocking randomly i just texted him. because i just forgot how to act with him. it's been too long.

and that sucks.

me- hey
me- i'm kind of outside of your house right now

ethan- what?
ethan- are u ok?
ethan- dumb question i'm coming downstairs now

i locked my phone and walked up to the doorstep. when i heard the door open my stomach dropped. i hadn't even planned out what i was gonna say past telling him that i love him and that i wanted to be with him.

but now it's like i lost the words again. i'm nervous.

"can i come in?" is all i could manage to say like an IDIOT.

"well you didn't drive an hour just to stand on the welcome mat." ethan jokes causing the mood to lighten. god thank you.

"45 minutes actually. i felt like if i didn't get here as fast as i could i would chicken out." i said not really thinking before the words flew out of my mouth.

"chicken out of what?" he asks confused.

"chicken out of- well- i just-" i took a deep breath and tried to recollect my thoughts. "after i texted you earlier, i felt like i would absolutely die if i didn't see you tonight and didn't tell you everything i've been too scared to even think to myself for almost two years now, and i guess that whole drive i should've been planning what i was gonna say but now i'm just one big mess." i quickly say letting my nerves talk for me.

"lex, calm down....breathe." ethan placed his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "now just start from the beginning. tell me what you came all this way to say." he said.

"well there's a few things, plus one big huge apology, and an even bigger thank you." i started. he furrowed his brows but let my continue talking.

"first off, i'm sorry for the last year. i know i wanted to not split you and grayson apart anymore and i still believe that taking a break from all of us was necessary. but it could've just been a few months. but i kept pushing back visiting and such and i always blamed it on not being good for the both of you but it was just me. i was just too scared and i'm sorry e. i'm so sorry. i put both of us in pain." i said before joining ethan on the couch where he had sat down. i was pacing like the nervous wreck i was.

"but besides that, i came to tell you the same thing i told you in my apartment. but this time it's not out of anger or accidental. i'm here, and i mean it." i took a deep breath and began talking again.

"do you remember around the time we had first met and i told you why i was in the faceless?" i asked. he nodded and i continued.

"well i played this one conversation in my head over and over the past year even in my dreams sometimes, but you once made a pinky promise to me that we would always make each other smile. and every second i was with you after that you did just that. and i think that was the moment i first knew i had feelings for you. but beyond that, the one most important thing i wanted- no NEEDED you to know, is that i love you.

and i'm so in love with you that it hurts. we've both made mistakes and said things we didn't mean, but even from the first time i saw you all the way until now it's always been you." i finished. i noticed my eyes were becoming watery and so were ethans. i looked down and prepared to say the next thing i needed him to understand.

"i also need you to know that i never slept with max." i said looking up at him.

"alex, you don't have to say that i over reacted and i'm sorry." he apologized but i still shook my head.

"but you're right it looked bad. he told me how he felt but i explained to him that i didn't feel the same. but we had become acquaintances and sort of friendly again after working on the blaine mission for so long that it was just normal to me. yes he has my name tattooed, yes i thought it was creepy at first. but once he told me the meaning i understood.

i'm sorry. i know what he did. and i'm sorry. i really am." i apologized.

"alex i'm not mad. grayson talked some sense into me earlier. don't worry." i chuckled and looked back up at him.

"i'm sorry for letting my own fears make you miserable." i said.

"it's okay. we're okay. i promise." he pulls me into his chest and hugs me. i never thought i would ever get one of these again but it's like medicine. it automatically made me feel better.

"i missed you. way too much." he said softly.

"you have me. forever. i won't leave again." i promised looking back into his eyes.

"in that case i've been waiting for this for years." and just like that his lips touched mine.

and i felt my beaten down and broken heart warming up again.

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A/N: can you bELIEVE IT TOOK ALMOAT 60 CHAPTERS FOR ETHAN AND ALEX TO KISS?

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