saved | e.d.

36

"anything new on ethan?" i ask. i'm starting to feel like a broken clock. asking the same question everyday.

i got discharged from the hospital today, and ethan still won't wake up.

i wish it were me instead of him. i cant imagine how grayson must feel. he lost his dad already, has no idea what happened to his mom, and now ethan?

let me not be selfish and think about grayson. grayson is in more pain than me. he deserves to be checked up on. not just me and my stupid bullet wound.

"wait, actually before you answer that, how are you? really." i said with a softer voice towards the end. his face falls a little, while his shoulders slump.

"not too good, if i'm being completely honest." he says truthfully.

"i'm here for you gray. 120 percent of the time. i promise you that you will never be alone in any of this okay?" i pause looking him in the eyes to make sure he knows i'm being dead serious. "do you wanna talk about it?" i ask.

instead of acknowledging or answering my question he just walks over to the couch and sits down. i take that as a yes and follow him, sitting down.

"he's all i have left, you know? besides the gang and you, but family wise. i already lost dad i can't loose ethan too." right as grayson finished his sentence i saw something i never thought i'd ever see.

grayson must've been holding this in for a while but i was too selfish to see it. he let his head fall into his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. he began to softly cry, while my heart shattered.

i wrapped my fairly short arms around him and held him for comfort. he then looked up at me and i opened my arms signaling he could use my shoulder if needed.

i let him cry on my shoulder until he felt as though he had let some serious emotions out. after that we sat in silence just him letting me hug him and trying to comfort each other as much as possible.

"what if he forgets" graysons scratchy and weak voice speaks up.

"he won't. he can't. not you." i said reassuring him. though i couldn't be 100% sure, i know for a fact twins could never just forget each other.

"god i hope he doesn't." he murmurs before resting his head on top of mine again where it once was before.

"do you feel any better?" i ask softly.

"a little. i haven't let out any emotions like that since i was a young kid. i needed that. i cant thank you enough for being here for me alex. seriously." he lifts his head and looks me in the eyes.

"you're welcome. i will always be here for you. no matter what." i said smiling a reassuring smile.

grayson opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself before the words could tumble out.

things got quieter than they had been all night, and i began to feel a sort of thickness in the air.

"what were you gonna say?" i ask without thinking.

"i wasn't- well i- i um..." he stutters as he struggles to find the right words.

"gray, don't stress you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." i assure him.

"but what if i do want to?" he says in a manner that felt as if he was testing me.

"then of course i'm here to listen, but only if you're comfortable with telling me." i say, not really knowing what was about to come out of his mouth next.

graysons express was extremely conflicted. we were still maintaining eye contact since this conversation is serious, and it's like i can see him switching back and forth between thoughts.

"i don't want to hurt him." is all he says.

"grayson, hurt who?" i ask softly.

"ethan" he says breaking the eye contact.

"grayson you're not going to hurt ethan, he's gonna be okay. why would you think you're gonna hurt him?" i ask.

"because for a solid minute there i could've sworn i was gonna kiss you. and i was happy about it." his words temporarily stop my heart and make it jump out of my ass.

it's like all the words i ever knew left my brain and my voice was gone. i had no words. didn't know what to say.

but apparently my body acted for my lack there of brain.

i was kissing grayson.

well okay.

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A/N: oops 😳

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