saved | e.d.

43

ALEX POV

it's like i forgot how to talk to him. i forgot how to exist with him. i'm practically walking on eggshells and suffocating in tension between him and i.

ethan got home from the hospital today, and grayson had to literally drag me to the hospital today to help. it's not that i didn't want to help or didn't care about ethan coming home- because i do.

it's more so the fact that i'm in so much pain emotionally i can't see his face. because while i'm ecstatic that he's awake it's just a reminder that i'm really nothing important to him anymore.

i'm literally A STRANGER now. i hate this. so much.

"you all unpacked?" graysons voice knocked me out of my thoughts. i blinked a couple times and tilt my head towards the voice.

ethans eyes were piercing into what seemed like my soul and i had no clue why. he muttered a low 'yeah' and walked over to the kitchen- where i was- and went into the fridge to get something to drink i guess.

i look away and head for the stairs.

"alex..." grayson says softly with pleading eyes. i knew he was asking me to stay down here and sit around acting like everything was great, but all i wanted was a hot shower and a good cry.

i should feel a little better after that.

"i'll be back down in a bit i just need to take a shower and change i forgot this morning." i said. i wasn't lying, grayson dragged me out of bed before i had time to shower and get ready.

grayson nodded and for a split second my eyes flashed to ethans and his showed a bit of pain in them. my eyebrows furrowed in confusion but maybe it's because i clearly am avoiding him and he quite literally doesn't know why.

i turned on the shower water and stepped in letting the hot droplets of water cascade down my back. my muscles relaxed finally and i let myself therapeutically cry.

i tried not to take too long because i felt bad for making ethan think i like didn't want to be around him. he doesn't know that i'm just hurt. but it's really not his fault. so i need to pick my shit up and go be there for him.

so i stepped out of the shower and got changed quickly. i never really blow dry my hair so i towel dried it and brushed it out.

once i was decent looking, i walked back down the stairs, and joined the twins on the couch. grayson looked to me with a look i didn't recognize, and i just reassuringly smiled at him.

i looked over at ethan and surprise, his eyes were already on me. an awkward silence falls into the room and the tension just skyrockets.

"sorry i took so long" i said breaking the silence.

"your good, we were just talking about things trying to jog his memory." grayson says. my heart ached but i looked over to ethan and met his eyes.

"any luck?" i asked.

"not much, no. i managed to remember the reason i got shot, though." i bet you could just see my eyes light up.

"what do you mean?" i ask hoping he's gonna say because he stopped to help me with my leg. because i felt guilty for a while that he was preoccupied with me.

"blaine shot me. that's all i can remember." he said shortly. oh.

"oh. okay." i turned to grayson and asked, "how much are we allowed to tell him to get him to remember?"

"all they said was go slow. don't force a whole story on him. try to jog his memory not replace it." i nodded and turned to ethan.

"do you remember the night we met by any chance?" i asked. he shook his head and spoke.

"grayson told me it was the night i left from a meeting. but i don't remember it myself." he said. he wouldn't meet my eyes when he spoke anymore. i used to be able to tell that that meant he was lying to me, but now? i don't really know if that's the same.

"you won't look at me" i accidentally said out loud while looking at him quizzically. his cheeks turned red which also happened if i called him out for lying...?

"sorry i just-" he was scrambling for words which he almost never did. he was always calm and collected and thought everything through before he spoke.

"what are you talking about, lex?" grayson asked.

"god STOP CALLING HER THAT" ethan outburst scaring me and grayson.

ETHANS POV

i immediately felt small. why the fuck did i just say that out loud? they obviously know i remember.

"since when did you have a problem with him calling me lex?" her face showed anger, and hurt. and confusion. here we go.

"because it was my nickname for you and it just seems like everything is slipping away now." i said like the words were tumbling out of my mouth faster than i could stop them to think. maybe my brain really is broken.

"you remember me?" she asked with a small smile.

"he always did...." grayson said more so to himself then me or alex. "you never lost your memory did you?" he stands up "that explains why the only thing you couldn't remember was her." he pointed at alex and i looked at her.

i wish i hadn't.

now on her face next to anger and hurt was a whole lot of betrayal.

———
A/N: ITS BEEN SO LONG IM SO SORRY

VOTE