saved | e.d.

37

i kissed him. me. i did it. all he did was say that the thought had run across his mind. i was the one who initiated tonsil hockey.

it's not like i was with ethan, like i hadn't even told him that i had unresolved feelings that may or may not have suggested that i was into him.

butttttt now that i had new experiences with grayson last night i have no idea what's going on. i'm such a bad person tbh.

-

i woke up this morning more conflicted than i had ever been in my whole life of existence. no robbery, no near death, no gang issues, could ever be as hard as feelings for not one but TWO twin brothers.

i had developed feelings for ethan from being so close to him and working with him. never told him though. never kissed him either. why do i feel so guilty then?

ah, yes. because i told grayson the night before i was kidnapped that i had a thing for his brother. and now last night i kissed grayson.

not even just kissed. like....it lasted a long time and it wasn't some teenage horny shit, and we didn't do anything but kiss.

it was slow and in a way meaningful. i don't know if it was just because he needed someone last night or what, but that was in no way some random thing. it meant something. i just don't know WHAT it meant.

but now it's time to head downstairs and face the music. here goes nothing.

one by one my feet stepped down the stairs as the smell of breakfast had become strong. a shirtless grayson was standing at the stove top flipping pancakes and frying bacon.

i guess he heard me and turned around. great no time to mentally prepare for this.

"morning" he said awkwardly. ah shit.

"morning" i said back. the tension was so thick i felt like i could cut it with a knife.

"look, about last night-" we both said at quite literally the same time.

"you first" grayson said. gentleman status tbh.

"okay....well i don't wanna just leave the elephant in the room. i totally kissed you last night and i'm sorry." i started. "i don't wanna make things weird because i know i told you i had feelings for ethan and when he wakes up i'll have to explain and- well i never told him i was into him......but we still have to explain what happened....and i don't know what's even going on" i started to get overwhelmed and tears began to fill my eyes. i cry when i get super overwhelmed and stressed.

"hey hey, don't cry everything is gonna be okay i promise you." grayson pulls me into his embrace and hold me while i calm down. helping but not helping tbh.

"maybe we should wait until until ethan wakes up to decide all of this..." i said.

"maybe, but why does he get to decide what you do? i get you don't want to hurt him and i certainly don't either, but last night.....i seriously felt something. i don't know if you did, but that was our moment. i don't wanna just let it pass like it was nothing you know?" graysons voice was soft and careful. soothing in a sense.

"i felt it too. but i'm scared. i feel so stupid because it's really bad to say you have feelings for one twin and then have feelings for the other as well. i'm just not right for either of you. you both deserve girls who won't catch feelings for the both of you." i said feeling so so guilty.

"it happens alex, it's okay i'm not mad at you." he says.

"it shouldn't happen though grayson...it's not okay." the stupid tears are back. bye.

"alex you and i have gotten so close over the course of how ever long we've known each other. we talk about everything and we trust each other. at least give us a chance. if things don't work out than that's our sign. but like i said this right here? this is OUR moment. i'm not gonna let pass." he then steps closer to me pulling my body into his with force. his lips are instantly on mine, and i definitely don't hesitate to kiss back.

our moment.

you know what? i'm not letting it pass either. fuck it.

—————
A/N: here we go.... bare with me please IK this is an ethan book but i got a #idea lmao

luv u.

VOTE