Yours truly ; Charlie Weasley

Sixteen

The next morning, I woke up feeling like shit. I had been crying myself to sleep and now that I was awake, the light shining through the window, I was realising that Charlie was in the loft and I hadn't been dreaming.

I sat up, running a hand through my hair while I looked towards the window. It was open. It hadn't been yesterday. He had been in here to let some air into the room. He had fucking been in here.

The smell of bacon mixed with pancakes hit my nose, and I looked towards the door. That son of a bitch was cooking my favourite breakfast.

I decided to get out of bed. I needed to make myself look good. He was gonna see exactly what he had been missing out on.

I wore a pair of light denim shorts and a white crop top with short sleeves and low cleavage. I brushed through my hair and let it hang naturally and wavy around my face. I did my makeup, some mascara and some lipgloss but that was it.

Before I left my room, I put on a pair of white socks, then sprayed some perfume on — the one he had always told me was his favourite smell on me apart from my natural smell.

"I told you to not go into the room." I told him, watching him as he stood in the kitchen, making bacon pancakes. He was shirtless, only wearing a pair of briefs.

"You like to wake up to fresh air from the window." He said and looked at me. "At least you used to."

"I don't like it anymore." I told him, eyeing him up and down. "Put on some clothes. No one wants to see that."

I turned on my heel and made my way towards the door, continuing out of it. I had to pick up some paperwork in my office so I could get them signed before the shop opened.

I didn't even know what to think about this whole situation. Waking up to Charlie in the loft was odd and it shattered my heart all over again just by seeing him. My heart had been shattered a lot of times now.

When I reached my office, I let out a heavy breath. I pulled the drawer open with my paperwork and grabbed the pile of papers, holding them against my chest as I locked up behind me, then I made my way back up into the loft.

I didn't say anything to Charlie. I closed the door behind me and put the papers on the table in the kitchen. He had put on a pair of sweatpants, but that was it.

It looked like he had gotten a new tattoo on his lower back. Something written in runes. Charlie turned around with a plate of pancakes, and my eyes flicked up to meet his before I looked away.

"What's that?" He asked, nodding towards the paperwork as he placed the plate on the table, then he started setting the table.

"I'm taking on the Quibbler."

That was true. I had accepted Mr Lovegood's offer after considering it for a while.

"It's paperwork." I explained as I walked over to a drawer in the bookshelf. I found my quill set, then sat myself at the table.

"That seem like a good idea."

I sighed and looked up at Charlie as he placed a plate next to where my pile of papers laid.

"I didn't ask for you opinion on it." I told him. "You asked what it was and I answered. That's it."

He kept looking at me, leaned over the table with his hands pressed flat against it. He wetted is lips before sighing as he closed his eyes.

"Are you even gonna give me an actual explanation?" I asked. "Because that you-deserve-better bullshit, doesn't cut it. In a fucking week, we would've been together for eight years and your only excuse is your lack of self-confidence?"

He opened his eyes again to look at me and I raised an eyebrow to question him.

"Emmy—"

"Don't call me that." I said as I scrunched up my nose at the shot of pain that went through my heart. "You know— yesterday you talked in past tense. You wanted to spend the rest of the life with me. Why're you back here if you can't see yourself with me for the rest of your life?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I don't know why I spoke in past tense. I do want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I was fucking planning on proposing to you!"

My face dropped at his confession and I gulped harshly. Neither of us broke eye contact. He sighed. He looked like he regretted just outing himself like that.

"What?"

"I have a ring and everything." He told me, straightening up. "I bought it before the battle of Hogwarts. We all knew the battle was gonna happen. We were all waiting for it and I wanted us to get married before it happened in case something happened to either one of us. I had saved money for such a long time to get you a perfect ring. I wanted to be able to give you something that actually had value instead of some fake diamond — but then the battle happened sooner than expected and I told you to wait up there in the seventh-floor corridor. I left you there, I left my brothers there, thinking you'd be safe until I came back. When I did came back, Percy wasn't there and you were sitting with Fred in your arms. Instantly I knew he was gone because I could see how broken you were. That's the moment I realised that you deserved someone who could protect you and that my siblings deserved someone who wouldn't let them die. Then you almost died in the hospital. They had no idea what was happening to you or why you—"

He pressed his lips together and looked away, making a grimace to stop himself from crying.

"I was there when you had that seizure — I saw it happen and it was so scary to see. I had just lost my brother and now my girlfriend was seizing in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything to help. I couldn't help you and I so just wanted to take away the suffering. I even told you that I wouldn't be mad at you if you went into the light, because I just didn't want you to suffer anymore. I didn't want you to be in pain. Telling you to let go and accept death, is the hardest thing I've ever done."

I remember that.

I heard him when he said it, but I refused to let go. I was stuck in that state but I was fighting so hard to find my way back and force my eyes open. I think Charlie telling me to let go, was what made me wake up. I was scared he was giving up on me ever waking up. A few days later I was awake.

"And in those six months after you woke up from you coma—" Charlie continued as he looked at me again. "... I'm sorry that I was acting like that after the battle. It was a mix between grieving Freddie and being scared of you."

"Scared of me?"

"Not scared of you like that." He told me. "Scared of hurting you. That's why I never wanted to touch you, why I didn't give you more than a peck. I saw how fragile you were in that hospital bed and I was already close to losing you once. I was scared I was gonna break you. I wasn't thinking clearly when I left. I just thought I was doing what was best for you. Maybe you would've been able to find someone who could save you in case anything ever happened again."

I didn't know what to say. I looked down at my paperwork as I held the quill in my hand, fiddling with it between my fingers.

"And I'm sorry for the things I said to you right before I left." He continued. "It wasn't the truth but I thought you'd get over me easier if you hated me."

I wiped the single tear from my cheek before I slowly looked back up at him.

"How was I supposed to get over you when I was pregnant with your fucking child?"