Yours truly ; Charlie Weasley

Thirty-nine

Third update of the day.

I guess I'm simply feeling ✨inspired✨

-

Ember

"I am in actual pain." I laughed, bending forwards with my hands on my knees. I made a face, then straightened up and tried to fix my bra. "I think I need a new one. This isn't supporting me enough."

"How so?" Avalon asked, placing the cup of tea in front of me. "Haven't you had that one for years now? Ever had problems with it before?"

I shrugged.

"No, never." I answered, tugging at the neck of my shirt to look down at myself. "I think my boobs have gotten bigger. They're technically spilling out of the cups and my back is killing me. I definitely need a new bra."

I sighed and got out of my chair.

"I'll go change." I informed my sister. "It'll just be a minute."

I walked into my room and closed the door behind me before immediately pulling off my shirt and taking off my bra.

I had a sports bra that I rarely used. I hadn't worked out in a while and it had always been a bit big on me so hopefully it would now fit, seeing as my boobs had gained in weight. It must've been from when I went back to eating after basically starving myself.

They were also tender from wearing a bra that didn't fit. Or maybe that was because my cycle was about to start.

My cycle.

I frowned and looked towards the small pocket calendar that laid on the dresser. I kept record of my cycles in it but I couldn't quite remember my last one.

I hurried over to grab my calendar and scrolled to the month we were in. The start of July. Then I went back to June and didn't see any records. Then May. My last cycle started on May 28th and ended on June 3rd. That was the last.

My next should've started...

June 24th.

That's eight days ago. I'm eight days late? I'm eight days late. How did I not notice? How did I not...

With how tired I've been, with the back pain, the headaches. How did I not notice?

My thoughts kept racing as I slowly pulled open the top drawer and found my sports bra, pulling it on. It fitted perfectly.

But how? I mean, I couldn't possibly be pregnant. No because I calculated it perfectly when Charlie and I had sex in the shower. That was six days before my ovulation and sperm survives for five whole days.

Once again I found myself looking through my calendar, and I nearly gasped when I saw the date.

June 11th. That was when we had shower sex and according to the book, that was three days before ovulating, not six.

How could I get that wrong? How could I bet so irresponsible? So dumb?

I got pregnant once by accident and I had an abortion because I was too scared to raise the baby on my own. This couldn't be happening again. Charlie and I weren't in a good place where we could start a family, but I didn't know if I could have another abortion if I turned out to be pregnant.

"Avalon!" I shouted as I pulled on my shirt again and put away the bra on the floor. I then ripped the door open and walked out where my older sister sat. "I uh— I-I..."

I couldn't even speak properly. I was so terrified of this — especially because Charlie wasn't at home at the moment and we still had so much to figure out.

"What's wrong?" Avalon asked, motioning for me to sit down. I did and took a sip of my tea before looking at her again.

"I-I-I-I..."

I was bouncing my leg and apparently didn't know how to speak without panicking and stuttering.

I let out a breathy laugh and ran my hands over my face.

"Ember, calm down." Avalon chuckled. "You just went to get changed and now you're all nervous."

"I think I may be pregnant." I blurted, digging my nails into my thigh while my other hand grabbed my cup to take another sip.

"Oh?"

"I'm late." I continued. "Eight days. I don't know how I didn't notice before but that along with the back pains and some headaches. It's different symptoms than when I last was pregnant, but I think I might be and I—"

"Woah!" Avalon interrupted and grabbed my hands. "Hey... calm down, yeah? Don't panic. We can easily figure out if you're instinct is right."

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly as I leaned back in the chair. I closed my eyes. I needed to gather my thoughts. I needed to calm down, to not panic.

"I can't be pregnant." I sighed and opened my eyes again. "It's all my fault. I told Charlie we didn't need protection because I wasn't gonna ovulate for another six days. I thought there was six days until— there was three."

Avalon took a sip of her tea before looking at me again.

"Do you need me to go down and buy you a test?" She asked. "I can go get a Muggle one or the Wizarding one. You decide."

I shook my head.

"No. I can't. Not without Charlie." I said. "I need him to come home first. I just have to wait a week."

Just a week.

"I miss him, you know?" I asked, rocking back and forth on the chair a little. "I know it was my own decision to have some space from him but I really miss him and Romany told me he's doing poorly. I really want to go and tell him to come home but I'm not going to mess with his head."

Avalon sighed and crossed her legs, folding her hands in her lap.

"I'm still fucking pissed at him." She said. "But I know he'd make an excellent father, though don't let him pick the names. He gives his dragons human names and he'll probably want your baby to be named something like— fireball... I don't even know."

Talking about my possible future baby like this, made me even more nervous. The first time around, it was the perfect time for us to have a baby. Well, mostly the perfect time. It had only been five months since the war ended but I thought the baby could give us both some kind of healing, then Charlie left and I aborted the baby I so wanted to have.

That's my biggest regret ever. I wish I would've kept it. Now I feel like I could've been able to raise her on my own — even though Charlie did come back before my due date.

Now— well now is such bad timing. Charlie and I are in counselling and we need to learn to trust each other again. How are we supposed to raise a baby if we don't trust each other.

Then again, maybe a baby is what it takes for us to find our way back to what we were before.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up about getting knocked up." Avalon interrupted my thoughts. "If you decide to keep it, you'll both make great parents. Amber wasn't planned either but look at us. Our girl is almost six years old. One thing I do regret though, is her name. I mean — what did we think? Her aunt's name is Ember and we decide to call her Amber."

I laughed softly as I thought about it. When Amber was born and her name was introduced, I found it really weird but I didn't say anything because Mahlon and Avalon were so happy about it.

Amber & Ember.

It's awfully close to each other.

Avalon went home later that day. She managed to calm me down. She made me realise that my choice is okay no matter what I choose. If I'm pregnant, that's okay and if I'm not, that's okay too. If I decide to keep it, great! If I decide to get an abortion, that's alright.

I found myself standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom, my shirt pulled up, my hand traveling over my stomach.

This was fucking insane. Why was my uterus so fertile? If I was pregnant, that would be two times in nine months.