Shit rant poems

Get better, got better

I feel so deliriously happy at his love
His smiles
His excitement to talk to me
The I love yous and I miss yous

I feel like I might faint when i see him again and he touches me

But i wouldnt care if i died in his arms if i felt the true warmth of his embrace

Things are so up and down in this world

We settled again
We are happy

I'm terrified of fucking up

I daydream he hates me and i cry in bed all day

I imagine he wont love me and i cant give him a son
And i fall into this spiral

Crying in my shower

Trying to seem okay as my hands shake holding my teacups

He talks to me unknowing that im some kind of psychopath

I invent in my head all these ways he hates me or i break his heart

All these reasons he wont love me anymore because i dont think i deserve him at all

And when he texts me

Its like the glass barrier shatters

Im loved

And its me and my husband

My bed spins and i feel seventies

Im breathless

Im so breathless

He leaves me like this always

Im dying for him in every way

My yellow

My right to my left

We're sticking together

And its love

I want to bathe in him and kiss every fingertip he has

All ten and look him in the eyes

Show him somehow how devoted i am

I feel so crazy

I feel so fucking crazy always

Im a fucking psychopath

But im his

And he mine

Always and always and always