Shit rant poems

If What You Love

If it's blue and what you love is red

I know you wont settle for my purple

Or any deep hued bruise I'm left with

If you love whats orange I'm

A lemon

Almost the right citrus

But never quite there

If what you love is the 9:02

Clammering down the track

The metro system

Right on time

I'm the vline

Late

Unknowing of my own predictability

Bumbling down narrow empty roads

If what you love

Is him

I am most decidedly a her

If what you will love forever

Long lastingly

Forever and ever more

Perfectly so

Is anything
It's

Not me

So

If what you love is smart

Try me

&

Cram knowlegde down my throat

If what you love is a musician

Fight me as you

Sew my fingers to the violin strings

If what you love is perfect

Battle me

Arrange me so

If what you love is incorrect

Force me

& Make yourself right

If what you love is broken

Make me so

Or at least try to make me more

But wait

Thats not my point

ThTs not my question

Query

Or

Enquiry

It's

Why

The

F
U
C
K

Aren't I

What you

Can even

Ever

L o v e

Or even consider doing so

Platonically

Something that seems so special

-Ish

Something that I think I'm entitled to

For some reason

And

If I'm not what you love

Fucking make me so

Because I've worked hard enough

And long enough

To get fucking something

If what you love

So

If prissy polished and pink

If what you love

Is glimmering perfect asses showing through fashionable shorts

If what you love is impeccable hair and flawless make up

If what you love is the perfect man

Or woman

Im not fucking there

For any of it

Im not that

I am not anything more

Than I possibly can be

If what you love is crammed ino all these small boxes of bullshit

Categories

And artificial hypocrisy

And categories of artificial hypocrisy

& its stages

If what you love

Is any kind of impossible perfect broken and shattered barely fucking human being

Count me out

I'm done fighting for you

And with you

Or alongside you

And

Changing

Manipulating myself

For what you love

I deserve something for my time

And commitment

But I am owed nothing

From you

And am continaully disappointed

Anyway

So

If what you love

Is what I'm not

Fuck it

Take it back

Have it
Keep it
Hide it
Treasure it
Scrape it together
Give it away
Find it
Lose it

Because if it's anything like it was to me

It's fucking nothing
&
Toxically so

And

It seems

What you love

Is seemingly

Fuck all

To maybe not

Everything

And

Everyone

But certainly to me

And

To what you love

Whatever the fuck it may be

And

It's a shame

Because we could have been your

Everything