Shit rant poems

My Fucking Perfect Boy//I Think it Might Be Heartbreak

I think i fucked things up with the best fucking boy in the world
And its all my fucking fault
Because i was drunk and stupid and didn't understand
i made it worse
And its all fucking fault
its like i can feel the cracks ragged then smooth in his heart like im grazing it with my fingers and holding his heart in my fucking stupid sweaty palms
And i don't want to but its slipping and falling and my arms are going to be forced up and down
Throwing it to the ground
Letting it smash

I don't want to break his heart
I don't want to i never did I've never want to
But i am
I think i have

And im so fucked up

Because i still love him i never wavered
I always have more and more

And he's going to leave and its all my fault

Still yet i want him yo love me

I never meant them
What i fucking did

And I've ruined him hes my fucking baby boy and I've ruined him

And he must think hes nowhere near enough r that i don't want him

And its the fucking furthest thing from the truth i want him more than the universe
More than each breath im taking i miss him so dearly so truly so purely and painfully

Hes always been perfect and true and everything i wanted and he just wants to know why

And he didn't do anything
I wish i didn't think it was okay
I wish i didn't ever fucking do it

Ive never wanted them

Never never never

I just want us

Me and him

But I've fucking ruined it
My perfect love
My perfect lovely boy
I've ruined it
I've ruined it
I've ruined it
I've ruined him
I've fucking ruined him
Hes going to leave me and i don't know of he can love me

Hes going to leave me and its all my fucking fault and all i can do is wait in pain for him to do it

Ans hes far away and i wish
I want

I need to change things and i need us together

But i feel like i cant do anything right what if hes decided already

What if he knows he needs to leave me for him

I don't want him to go i want him to be my forever

Im so fucking scared

Hes going to leave me and hes the single best thing I've ever had

He deserves someone so much more than me and i need to stop pretending to be more than i am

But i cant fucking lose him i want him i need him im so fucking selfish

I wish he'd say everything hes feeling

Scream at me
Cry
Yell

Get it all out and then let me build things back up

But idk

Idk whats going to happen

I think I've lost my one fucking love

You get one

Call it soulmates
Fate
Whatever the fuck

I think in this life you get one love like i have

And i think it might be gone

Because im a fucking slut

And i don't deserve him
I never did

Ever ever ever