The First Time

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I'd like to let things just happen

As the way they will

The first time around

And

When we come back

A second

Third

Or fourth time

We can

Change it

And

Manipulate it

The ways we please

Make it perfect

Or try

To make it perfect

Even though

It'll be a disaster

But at leader

In most outcomes

Its our disaster

Even if not

Especially

Our creation

And I want to do these things

As what I believe this is what

People call

The right way

And right now

We are relaxing

Chilling if you like

We are us

Away from where we are told we belong

To live differently and authentically

Human

For just a bit

Before we have to return

As money

And school

And work

And

Other

Powers over us

Dictate

Which is a shame

Because I'd love to stay

Have my humour

And some will for living

To just

Live this existence

Even if I don't know it purely yet

I want to live this

And act

And be

Like it's mine

Because

It covers this emptiness

This hole

This thinly veiled dumping ground of fuckery

This abyss inside

It's fucking soul crushing

It started in my chest and just fucking

Cancerously

Spread

And now I can see

I have nothing

And probably soon

I'll be fucking dead

So lets live this life

Have these accomplishments

Feelings

And memories

Lets experience everything

Well and honestly

Amazingly

Authentically

&
Beautifully

The honest and unpredictable

Worldly way

The first time around

Because its our fate

And then

Cornily

Together

You and I

You in my dreams

&

Me of my self imposed

Ideals

And

Self i mposed image

Can decide our world

Our lives

Beliefs

Destiny

Change fate

Expectation

And live to

Our own barriers

All without the bullshit

And all for us

And

When alone

We'll say

All for all

As all is us

To and for

Each other

Because

I guess

If we will commit

We will to it

The right

And

Real way

Defined and set

By no other one

Than us

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