I Don't Know

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Maybe I don't know what im talking about

And even after all I've written

Maybe I still just don't know

Maybe I'm like that song

Screaming curiosities about love

Maybe because

I want to know what it is

How it feels

How it changes you

How it breaks you

How all the love people give,

Recieve,

Share

And most of all reject

Shapes them as a person

But aside from what I distingush

As

"Love"

I dont think I know who I am yet

I dont know if my writing shows me

Even though anonymous

Its certainly more quintessential me

That I am with real people

Not that my readers are fake

Theyre very real but distant

It's just so fucking weird

It's like showing people from the 1800's

A wifi dongle

After all the time I've spent online

I can and do still marvel

At the fact that I can share so much of a beautiful thing

Not to sound self absorbed

But writing is a form of art and in it has beauty

Its still so astounding that i can share it with so many people

It's a breakthrough that i have the confidence to do so

It's insane that people actually notice or read my work

Or vote for it as well

Its even fucking strange as shit

That people actually like my work

Sometimes I feel like it's all to good to be true

And that people are just fucking with me

And will somehow turn my face into a meme

Or reduce me to cringe compilations

It's even more of a scary thought

To think that people might find my account

And know who I am

Who my work is about

To whom i can dedicate my best words

That terrifies me

But I just gotta keep going on

Because I think I've found something good here

But that doesnt stop my anxiety

Because I don't think you can ever really know your audience

And have them within you reach

Until they make the first move

But then again

I just don't know

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