Shit rant poems

Leave// I'm Gone

When you leave you get the chance to become nothing but I'm still me & I'm not even fucking here

I feel so far away
So so far gone
Like I'm not even here and I never chose to come

It all feels like this big distant memory but I'm right here in the midst of everything

I feel so far gone I can't be found

Maybe I could find myself
If I could just fly like you
So effortlessly
Above everything that you care about
Like you're just nothing

Even if I had the chance to be like you
To leave how you do
To be gone with as much permanence you did as you came with

I'd probably not look for where I was
Not try to find me

Even though when I stand perfectly still
Or sit down
Cementing myself in place

I'm not there
I'm not there I'm just gone and here's this big invisible part of me just gone

And I look so complete
I look like I'm just the way I'm meant to

Like nothing feels wrong and all is right and there
Like everything is a shipment on time

But maybe I got banged around the fucking box on the way

Because I'm so so far done with this all

And I just want to be like you

I just want to be gone

You see you leave and then never come back

You're as silent as can be
Then only screaming when you want to be known

When you think you have a thing to be heard

But then you're done again

You see when you land for a break and walk around it's like you're teasing us

You're taunting us

Saying look here
The danger is all around me
I could die any second and yet I'm here I'm still here

I'm going to parade myself around in the exact way you do
But I can leave anytime

And then you do

And I know it won't stop you have no idea

No clue
Not a thought

And so you'll leave me again and again
All of you

Fly away and let me be lost

Let me not know what to find and where

Fuck

These birds don't know how good they have it

It's the thing they never learn
In all the time they're gone

And I'm not enough here to teach them

Or to find a way to convey any of this

To anyone feathered or not