Chapter 6
Expectance
I never ever ever thought about getting married.
Sobrang bata ko pa para sa bagay na iyon. Well, I already graduated in college. I'm already twenty one, but still! I admit that I'm still childish sometimes. To get married is something serious and to get serious is nothing but a joke to me. It's not in my vocabulary.
But now, I'm starting to adopt it. Kailangan kong magseryoso dahil hindi isang laro ang papasukin ko.
Pinanindigan kong huwag umiyak. Letting my tears come out was an indication that I'm a loser, that I'm weak. I've admitted earlier but I'll retract it. I'm not the loser here. Mari has probably used her power as a Mayor. It's impossible that Dad didn't gave me any single coin.
Ako ang tunay niyang anak at sampid lang sila!
"Now what's your plan Ade?" tulirong tanong ni Clary.
I looked at her with my serious face. It's funny how I said those words in a full audacity. I shouldn't run, I shouldn't hide, I shouldn't leave, I should face it when in fact I don't know where to start.
Saan ako hahagilap ng lalaking handang isuko ang kaniyang kalayaan para sa akin? In my twenty years living, I haven't found a man who will love me truly and seriously.
Ayaw ko mang aminin pero gusto ko rin no'n. I want a man who will love me with all his heart. Kung siguro'y tatanungin ako kung ano ang gusto ko sa isang lalaki, I would definitely answer it none, but someone who could love me faithfully and wholeheartedly. Looks doesn't matter.
Kapag tinamaan ka, tinamaan ka.
But where can I found a man like that? It's impossible. Ngayon pa na kailangan ko nang magmadali. I'll be tied to an old man if I didn't hurry.
"Uh. M-May kakilala ba kayo? Someone that could take care of me if possible? Or kahit pala hindi na, just a guy who wants to be tied." I asked.
Nagkatinginan sila at sabay na nag-isip. I closed my eyes to think as well. Lahat ng kakilala ko ay mga gago, ayaw ko sa kanila.
"Cyd is a jerk, kahit gaano man siya kaguwapo ay hindi parin pwede, he's blurred." Yashana murmured.
"Ozze is super duper hot but you can't be one of his pets. Na-ah."
"Hiroh?" Yash again. I winced, he's a low-key gay.
"Franc?" I rolled my eyes.
"Gideon?"
I keep on shaking my head in their suggestion, halos kilala ko naman ang mga gagong iyon. Ayaw ko namang masira ang buhay ko kapag isa sa kanila ang pinili ko. I know they won't hesitate to marry me. Hello? I am a goddess. Sobrang ganda ko naman para maging laruan nila. I want someone I can toy. Iyong ako ang maglalaro hindi siya.
"Argh. All of them were futile. Iyong good boy wala ba?" I desperately asked.
"Saan namin iyon pupulutin?"
"You can't be married to a good boy, baka away awayin mo lang. You need someone who can control you, who can piss you off. Someone arrogant, ganoon." Clarita suggested.
Hindi ko alam kung baka may sira na talaga ang utak ko. Bakit ang unang pumasok sa isip ko ay ang lalaking iyon? Halos tumaas lahat ng balahibo ko sa katawan. Bigla rin akong nilamig. What the hell. There's no way I would marry someone like him. As in, no cockroach way.
Naputol ang usapan namin nang marinig ko ang vibration ng cellphone ko. I know who it was, I know it's Mari so I answered the call hastily.
"Ano? Wala ka na bang magawa sa walang kuwenta mong buhay kaya dinamay mo ako?" I snorted.
"Oops sorry? Hindi ko naman kasalanan na marami palang utang ang tatay mo–"
"Kingina mo, so pera na pala ako ngayon? Boba ka ba? Nakikiuso ka rin e. Why didn't you wait for me to talk to the creditor? Who are you to meddle with my life? Tangina mo." I balled my fist.
She never fails to make me annoyed. Kung pwede lang talaga siyang pagbuhatan ng kamay...
"Run as fast as you could. Hinihintay ka na ng mapapangasawa mo, kung hindi ka magpapakita–"
"You think I'm stupid like you? Bago niya pa man ako makita ay kasal na ako sa iba!" Then I ended the call.
Pigil ang inis kong itinapon ang cellphone ko. That man suddenly appears in my mind. Napahilot ako sa sentido ko. I need to think brightly first.
"We need to be haste, your sister is really sick. She needs a doctor to pull apart her brain." Clary said.
"Siguro ay napuno na siya sa'yo. Why do you need to incriminate Miguel pa kasi?! Your sister is crazy for him!" Yash stated.
I leered at her statement.
"No need to worry, I have a plan. I think I know who will be the right man." Nahaplos ko ang aking braso ng tumaas ang aking balahibo.
Just by thinking of him sent creeps to me. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang desisyon na gagawin ko pero bahala na. I'll just try. As if he would agree naman di ba? He's so in love with himself. There's no way he would agree. Though I know what would be his answer, I would still try. Kahit mapahiya pa ako.
But why am I backing out now? Nasa harap na ako ng hotel room niya pero hindi ko magawang iangat ang kamay ko para pindutin ang door bell. Negativity is slowly eating me, it's taking my words back.
Huminga ako ng malalim at dahan dahang iniangat ang kamay ko.
"Kaya ko 'to." I encourage myself.
I gulped then decided to finally knock at his door. My fist was about to touch the door when it suddenly opened, my hand was glued mid air. Napanganga ako at nagsimulang pagpawisan.
"What are you doing?" pagpuna niya sa akin.
Well. I still don't know his freaking name. Wala sana akong balak alamin pero... kakailanganin ko siya. Ibinaba ko ang napahiya kong kamay.
I bit my lower lip to hide my embarrassment. His eyes narrowed at me.
Tumikhim ako at ngumiti ng pilit. "Uh... I have a proposal to make." I stopped mid air and smiled brightly.
Nangunot ang noo niya at aroganteng sumandal sa hamba ng pinto. Napalunok muli ako. Should I continue? Parang ayaw ko na. This is just going to be nonsense. He's not going to agree naman.
"Ano? Ano ba 'yong proposal mo? Faster, I'm hungry." He rudely uttered.
Nilamukos ng inis ang pasensiya kong inipon ko kanina. I sighed heavily as I tried to calm myself.
"A-Ano.. I need t-to g-get–"
He cut me off. "Ano? Konti lang oras ko, I still need to sleep."
My fist is trembling in irritation. Parang biglang gusto ko na naman bawiin ang lahat. What the hell. This son of a cockroach is really getting on my nerves. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang bilis bilis kong mainis sa kaniya. Kaunti na lang ay iisipin kong kauri niya si Mari.
"I need you to b-be my husband." napapikit ako matapos kong sabihin iyon.
Natahimik siya ng ilang segundo. As I thought I didn't embarrassed myself and was about to celebrate when I heard his euphemistic laugh. I was so close on punching him again but then I thought of myself.
I can't marry an old man.
