Chapter 17
Move on
Everytime I think about the loud and the faster thump of my heart, I always felt uneasy.
I knew that I'm getting there. To the place I don't want to be in.
I don't want to, for now. Naguguluhan pa ako. I think, it's too early. Hindi ko rin alam sa kaniya.
Matapos ang nangyari sa labas ng aking kuwarto ay halos hindi na kami magkita sa bahay. That night, we kissed like we're so in love. In the morning, we pretended that there's nothing happened. Pagkatapos ay wala na.
He was always out. For work, I guess. Umuuwi lang tuwing gabi. Habang ako naman ay hindi na magawang lumabas ng bahay. His Lolo doesn't visit anymore. Marahil ay abala rin sa trabaho.
Clary and Yash always invite me to party. I just always decline cuz I don't feel like partying.
Alam ko kung ano'ng nangyayari sa'kin ngayon. I am sad and I feel so alone. May mga oras na tila ba may gustong ilabas ang mga mata ko. Some fervid tears and I will always restrain it.
Mabigat sa loob. Sobra. I'm not liking it. Ngunit ano'ng magagawa ko?
I can't believe it. I was so busy hating him! Wala akong ibang maramdaman noon kung hindi ay pagkainis at galit! I didn't even think that I'm gonna feel something sweet towards him! What happened now?! Why am I suddenly feeling this stupid thing?!
Isang linggo pa ang pinalipas ko bago nagpasyang lumabas ng bahay. Sa bahay ako nina Clary dumiretso ngunit sa kasamaang palad ay wala siya roon. I texted her already but she didn't reply. Hindi nalang ako umalis sa bahay nila at tumungo nalang sa silid niya.
I dialed Yash number, but it keeps on ringing. Hindi sinasagot.
I lay on Clary's bed then I felt the hot tears again. Bigla na namang pumasok sa isip ko ang lalaking ipis na iyon.
I can't accept the fact that I'm crying for him. I'm now crying. I'm now drawing out a lot of tears for him. Makailang beses ko ng pinigilan ngunit ngayon ay hindi na kinaya.
Nang makaramdam ng antok ay hindi ko na rin iyon nilabanan. I let the sleepiness ate me.
"We must tell her!"
"I don't know. What if she'll get hurt?"
Boses ng dalawa ang naririnig ko. Conversing about something. Important? Is it about me? Siguro.
"We'll know about it. Kung gusto niya na ang asawa niya, then it'll really pain her."
"Tell me..."
Bumangon ako at hinarap silang dalawa.
Nagulat ang dalawa at ilang sandali ay sabay na nagbuntong-hininga.
"You're awake. Sobrang ingay ba namin?" si Yash.
I smiled thriftily. They looked so stressed out. Ano kaya'ng pinagkaabalahan nila noong mga araw na abala rin ako sa pagdaramdam?
"It's fine bitch. So you two are talking about something. Probably about me and my husband?"
Nagkatinginan sila. Yash smiled hesitantly while Clary bowed her head.
"We saw your husband. He's inside a restaurant with your..." Yashana halted.
Umangat ang isang kilay ko. "My?"
"Your evil step-sister. Si Mari..." patuloy ni Clary.
It's like everything inside me fell apart. Tinamaan din ng kirot ang dibdib ko kaya agad ko iyong nahaplos. I really fell hard.
