Chapter 18
Cold
I closed my eyes tightly when I felt Haji's lips on my neck. It didn't move. It just stayed there and I was thankful for that.
Pakiramdam ko ay bigla nalang akong matutumba sa sobrang panghihina. Sobrang bilis din ng tibok ng aking puso at tila mauubusan na ng hangin sa katawan.
I was telling myself that I need to do this for my revenge. Wala ng pakialam kung isang malaking kasalanan ang gagawin. But I know deep inside me, I'm still worried. Paulit-ulit na may bumubulong sa aking tigilan na ang binabalak ngunit hindi ako nagpadaig.
Good thing that I bumped into Haji. Hindi na ako naghanap pa ng iba at agad siyang inayang sumayaw. Mabuti nalang din at pumayag siya, despite of what happened the last time we met.
"You're being a bad wife, Ade..." paalala niya pa bago kami mag-umpisang sumayaw.
Yash and Clary probably stayed on our table. Siguro'y binabantayan ako mula sa malayo.
"Hmm. Don't worry, I won't lick it." rinig kong bulong ni Haji na ikinatango ko.
I know I can't do it. I can't flirt with him. Alam kong siya rin. He is aware that I am a married woman that's why he can't do it. We can't flirt with each other. Mali ata ang desisyon kong siya nalang ang landiin ngayong gabi.
"I'm sorry for bringing you into this situation... again." I mumbled too.
Inilayo niya na ang kaniyang labi sa aking leeg at hinarap ako. "It's fine, tho you have a very jealous husband."
Humalaklak siya na ikinasimangot ko naman. Hindi ako sumagot dahil hindi naman iyon totoo. He's not a jealous husband. Bakit nga ba ako naniwala sa sinabi niyang iyon. Maybe his ego just got hurt.
"Asan nga ba iyon? Buti at hindi ako biglang natumba rito. I was waiting for that to happen..." he teased.
"Can you stop talking about him?" angil ko.
He nodded his head. "I see, away mag-asawa. Now you're being a rebel wife." Then he tsk-ed. "You two should fix it, as soon as possible. 'Wag niyo ng palalain..."
Hindi ako nakasagot. Fix it? Our marriage is just a joke. It's loveless. He conspired with my sister to hurt me. Bakit ako makikipag-ayos kung ginagago niya lang pala ako? E 'di palalain nalang ang kinginang away na 'to.
"We'll be annulled soon."
Umangat ang gilid ng labi niya. "I doubt that. You love each other..."
Hindi ako sumagot at piniling talikuran nalang siya. His words got no sense. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nasabi niya iyon. I admit that I liked Seus, it's very far from that word. Love? I don't! Masyado na iyong malalim para sa akin, masyadong nakakatakot maramdaman ang bagay na iyon.
Bumalik ako sa table namin at naabutang lasing ang dalawa. For sure they have their own problem too. Si Yashana ay masyadong pini-pressure ng kaniyang ina, habang si Clary naman ay wala pa akong ideya. She's just too secretive.
"He doesn't like me. He will never like me. Nakakapagod ng maghabol..."
Natigilan ako nang marinig iyon. Yash looked at me with her widened eyes. Sabay kaming bumaling kay Clarita na nakaub-ob ang ulo sa lamesa. She's already wasted.
"Putanginang pag-ibig, ba't ako pa nakaramdam neto?! Can I just stop loving him?!"
Nabahala kami nang bigla siyang humaguhol. Tila nawala ang kalasingan ni Yash at mabilis siyang dinaluhan.
"We need to go home. Baka magwala pa 'to. We can't handle her when she's drunk..."
I nodded my head at her.
Sabay naming kinuha ang magkabilang braso ni Clary at isinampay ito sa aming magkabilang balikat. Lupaypay namang tumayo ang lasinggera habang patuloy sa pagdadaldal. I can't believe her. Kasasabi ko lang na masyado siyang malihim, heto nga at biglang iminungkahe ang pagkabaliw niya sa isang lalaki.
We walked passed through the waves of people who is dancing wildly. They doesn't seemed to care when we pushed them out of our way. Nakarating kami sa parking lot at tsaka natantong humahagulhol na naman si Clarita.
"Mahal na mahal kita Riam. Please love me back..." she muttered.
"Hindi naman na ako nanlalalake eh, I just did that to make you jealous.."
Ako ang nag-drive ng sasakyan. Tahimik lang kami sa unahan ni Yash habang pinakinggan ang mga hinaing at sama ng loob ni Clarita sa lalaki niya. Hindi talaga kami makapaniwala. We were always together. How come we didn't even noticed that she's been so in love and been chasing a guy who doesn't see her worth?
Nang makarating sa kanilang bahay ay agad kaming dumiretso sa kaniyang kwarto. We just changed her clothes before we let her get swallowed by her bed. Mabilis namang tumabi si Yash nang matapos siyang maligo at magbihis.
"Freshen up and change your clothes too. Baka makatulog ka na riyan." paalala niya pa.
Bumuntonghininga ako at tahimik na tumayo sa malaking sofa bed ni Clary. Tumungo ako sa bathroom at hinubad ang suot na damit. I opened the shower then I closed my eyes to welcome the cold water.
I don't want to admit it but I am thinking about him. Kung ano na ba ang ginagawa niya. Is he looking for me? Is he mad that I left? Is he mad that I didn't came back?
Ngumiti ako ng mapait at napailing sa naisip. Of course, he doesn't care about me. He's just toying me and playing with my feelings. For sure, kapag nalaman niyang gusto ko na siya ay agad niya ng ititigil ang laro. He will tell Mari that he succeeded on making me fall for him. He will left me with my heart broken into pieces.
Sumabay ang pagpatak ng aking mga luha sa malamig na tubig galing sa shower. I let it flow freely, for the last time. Yes, this will be the last time I'll cry for him.
I promise.
Pero hindi ko parin natupad ang pangakong iyon sa sarili. I slept with my flowing tears.
Nagising akong si Clary nalang ang katabi. Si Yashana ay siguradong umuwi na dahil naghihintay na ang sermon ng kaniyang ina.
I stared at Clary's face for a second. She's sleeping peacefully. Tila walang probema sa pag-ibig. Tss. This bitch. Sino naman kaya ang Riam na iyon? I don't know him, is he her classmate before? I really have no idea.
Nagpadala nalang akong muli sa aking pagkaantok at nagising nang may maramdamang pumipindot sa aking pisngi. Hindi ko sana iyon papansinin nang marinig ang mahina nitong mura.
I opened my eyes only to welcome his cold and annoyed gaze. Kumunot ang aking noo habang pinoproseso ng aking utak ang nangyayari.
"What the hell?!" sigaw ko nang matanto ang lahat.
I am now inside a car. Sitting beside him. What the fuck? Bakit ako biglang napunta rito?!
"Yes Ariadne, what the hell? Why didn't you come home last night?!" he shouted.
Hindi ako nakasagot at tumitig lang sa galit niyang mukha. He's wearing a white dress shirt and a slacks. He's maybe off to work but he came here instead.
"Pakialam mo?" pabalang kong sagot na mas dumagdag sa galit niya.
Kunot na kunot na ang kaniyang noo at tila malapit ng sumabog kapag may mali pa akong nasagot.
"You're my wife! Of course I care."
Binayaran kaya siya ni Mari? Di na ako magtataka dahil gano'n naman siya. Masyado siyang nag-eeffort sa larong ito kaya malamang malaki ang ibinayad sa kaniya ni Mari. He always make me pay before. He doesn't want to waste his time on things that will not benefit him.
"Sure." malamig kong sagot.
I felt him stiffened. I felt his blazing stares but I didn't mind it.
"Kung wala ka ng sasabihin ay lalabas na ako–"
"You're coming with me. Iuuwi kita sa bahay natin." malamig niya ring wika.
