𝐓𝐎𝐃 // 𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀 𝐓

36.

PERHAPS MAYBE SHE COULD STOP IT
maybe she could end this constant manipulation. Maybe. Maybe she could be the one to stop it, the what if's and the endless possibilities ended up in her head as she wondered. "What was the possibility of doing this?"

Practice match against Karasuno, she would see her lovely junior, Kageyama Tobio. Just moments after the game she gave him a hug and congratulated the raven haired boy and his team for the win.

That night there was yelling, finger pointing, gaslighting, manipulation, and makeup sex. That's how it always went with these arguments, the yelling and accusing of cheating to gaslighting from oikawa, and the manipulation that came with it too. Then eventually they would have makeup sex, and no matter how hard she tried to leave him she always came running back.

He never cared if she left him. because he always knew that in the end, she always came running back with apologies. She wanted to be the one to change that constant cycle of pain, hurt, and envy y/n had for the other girls he loved more than her.

Envy. Not something she would ever feel. She was a star setter, popular, good looks. But, not everything was about her popularity and good looks. It's not like she didn't like the attention, she just craved for something more.

More as in physical touch. Love. She was a touch starved girl who craved nothing more than touch. She had no sexual desire anymore. She had nothing for him anymore.

*

She does remember those firsts, first FaceTime sleepover, first date, the first FaceTime call, That first Good morning text from him, the first kiss that they shared, the first I love you, the first touch.

The first time when he reassured her that she was his forever.

Key word: forever