Losing Your Memory ° Kai Parker

Chapter 20

Wherever you stray
I follow
I'm begging for you to take my hand
Wreck my plans
That's my man

"Jenny please open the door, I am sorry about everything... " I heard Kai saying from the other side of the door.

My head was resting on the door of my dorm on the other side.
I tried to be as quiet as I could. I didn't want him to know how hurt I was from his attitude. I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting on the floor in this position with Kai outside but he sure was very determined.

"Please just open the door so we can talk." He said for what felt like the hundredth time.

I sighed and barried my face in my hands.

"You are such an asshole." I said and got up.
I slowly opened the door and glared at him.

I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for whatever apologize he had planned.

"I am sorry. You are right. I am an asshole." He bowed his head and quickly looked up again. He seemed surprisingly genuine.

"I shouldn't have done that or said anything I said and you don't have to forgive me I was just so upset. You hadn't returned any of my calls and I was so certain you had changed your mind, not that you would be wrong if you did because it is all too much and-"

"Kai." I stopped his rumbling.
"Breathe."

He nodded realizing he had been spewing words non stop.
"I just want a second chance... If you still want to try."

I stared at him, trying to figure out everything that had happened today. I hadn't been completely truthful to him either. I should have told him about his father if I wanted this to work out.

"Come in." I got to the side so he could walk in.

He looked shocked for a second but eventually walked in, looking around at the small room. I still hadn't put much. Some personal stuff but nothing important.

"Your dad came and found me after I left from your place. " I slowly said.

He stopped looking around and turned his attention to me. His eyes darkened instantly but he didn't say anything.

"He told me some stuff that... I got really upset I guess. I wanted to be alone. I am sorry I should have talked to you." I looked down at my hands shamefully.

Kai closed the gap between us and I thought he would lash out but he gently lifted me head with his hands and I was met with a very distressed look.
"I am sorry you had to go through that. I know how my father is." He said taking me by surprise.

"It was just... Intense. I got scared, I felt insecure." I tried to explain what I was really feeling. I felt the need to share it with him. He ought to know that I had my doubts.

"You are right to feel that way Jenn. I am not... I haven't been a good person. I haven't felt the need to be a good person until I met you." He admitted, letting his hands drop from the sides of face.

"Everything happened so soon. At first it was just physical attraction. But you were such a genuine person. Kind. Loyal to your friends. I hadn't met another person so genuine. Usually people like to appear all those things but deep down they aren't. Everyone just fakes these noble characteristics but you seemed to be all that." Kai was speaking so low that I thought he was simply thinking out loud without realizing.

But then he looked up to me and smiled.
"I liked that. It made me feel like I could be like that too."

I was at a loss of words. I had received compliments in the past but never this. I felt like I didn't deserve it. I sure tried to be all those things but Kai had such a high standard for me that I felt like I couldn't reach.

"You are being too kind. I am not that good of a person." I said after a while.

He chuckled.
"That's exactly what a good person would say."

I chuckled back at his response.

"I couldn't understand why you were so kind to me. Why you wanted to be around me. I was so different compared to you. All I could think was " Why me? " "
He sat down at the bed that seemed even smaller in the almost empty room.

I walked over to him and sat beside him.

"The truth is that you made feel things that I hadn't felt for anyone else beside Damon. I felt excited. Intrigued. I was guilty about these things but I still felt them." I looked at him, checking for his reaction but he didn't show much.

"I was also afraid. I have to say that. I still am a little bit. But I also saw the more kind and soft side of you and realized there was more to it than the butterflies you made me feel. It felt right to try and see where this would lead." I continued.

Kai turned so he was facing me and turned my head towards him.
I felt his lips on mine and I instantly kissed him back without a second thought. Everything about it just felt so right. He stopped for a moment and withdrew just a bit, his lips still grazing mine.

"I swear I am going to try." He whispered on my lips.

Then he continued kissing him.