Losing Your Memory ° Kai Parker

Chapter 6

I didn't sleep that night. I stayed in the living room drinking tea and looking at old pictures of Damon and Stefan.
I flipped through the pages, staying a little longer in the photos of Damon. Although we spent a lot of time alone and one would say that I was used to his face,I was not fed up with looking at him.
Especially the ones where someone had taken a photo of without him realizing.

I remember the first time I saw Damon.
I had finished class and Damon was there to pick up Caroline, a pair that I hope I could erase from my mind.
Every girl was swooning over him except Elena and I thought he would never take a second look at me.
Well I was right.
Damon never paid attention to me. I think he only ever noticed Elena. At first because she resembled Katherine and then because he actually fell in love with her.
I never told Elena of my crush on Damon because I didn't see the reason. I never had a chance besides I didn't think it was a good idea since he didn't have the best reputation.

Rightfully so.

I closed the book that was leaning on my legs.
Damon did have a bad reputation. He did pretty horrible things, I thought. It seemed I had a pattern.
I chuckled to myself and noticed the sun had risen.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes, the exhaustion kicking in.
I tried to sleep but I was too afraid to close my eyes in case the nightmares would come back.
They were too vivid. It was terrifying.

I heard footsteps and saw Kai, shirtless rubbing the back of his neck. He still looked half asleep.
"You haven't slept at all?" Kai's voice was still very deep from sleeping.
He came and sat beside me on the couch glancing at the book on my thighs.

He sat so close I could feel the heat from his body and an unfamiliar feeling of comfort came.

"I couldn't sleep. I was too afraid to." I admitted.

"You know you could sleep with me. I wouldn't touch you if you didn't want to."
Kai looked over at me.

I stared back at him, expecting to see him grinning mischievously but instead I found him looking back at me with a completely genuine stare.

"So what's your story? " I changed the subject.

Kai stared at me considering for a moment what I asked him.

"What do you want to know? " He layed back on the couch resting his head on his hands and closed his eyes.

"Why did you murder your siblings? Why weren't you on that family photo? It seems unlikely you snapped one day and murdered them. " I said carefully. I didn't want to push him too much.

Kai opened his eyes, his gaze fixed at the ceiling.

"My family hated me since I was born. The moment my father realized I was a siphoner he felt... repulsed I guess. Whatever I did to earn his trust he didn't really care. He had already made his mind. I was the defective twin. That nobody wanted. " It was the first time I heard him remotely sad.

My parents never hated me but I was never their favorite child. Jeremy and Elena always were favorited and they never really tried to hide it from me. I was always used to being left behind I guess that it never bothered me.

Before I could say anything Kai continued, his tone turning slightly harsher.

"Don't fool yourself Jenny. I know you are trying to find a justification for what I've done but the way my family treated me doesn't change the fact that I am not a good person. I never will be.
I learned from a young age that no one else will look after you so I had to do it for myself. Murdering my siblings was revenge. Jealously for something I didn't have. " He turned to look at my reaction.