OCTAVIA
"OCTA, YOUR birthday is coming." Lexi tried to get my attention while revising their Research on the laptop.
Yes. I almost forgot. Ngayon ko lang din naalala, pero parang wala namang nakakatuwa doon. I'll be 24 soon. Ugh. I feel so old. Time flies so fast when your sanity is falling apart.
"Hey, Octa." Pagtawag ulit sa akin ni Lexi na nagpabalik sa akin sa realidad. She's been giving me glances, so I averted my gaze on her. I feel so tired.
Nasa coffee shop kami ngayon dahil matagal ang vacant namin ngayong araw. It's literally three hours. Kumain na sila dahil nauna sila rito, pero ako ay ngayon palang.
"What about my birthday?" I raised an eyebrow then browsed my phone to check Ferish's adorable pictures.
I'm glad that she didn't see it when she borrowed my phone, because I literally don't know what to say, and what to reason if ever she caught me being... creepy? Am I creepy?
Napatakip ako ng bibig dahil sa naisip. Am I scaring her? No, right? She didn't look scared at me. And if ever she is, she will tell me. Ferish is vocal when it comes to those things.
Binaba ko ulit ang tingin sa phone ko. 'Yung tinititigan kong picture ngayon ay 'yung tumatawa siya. When was the last time I see her smile like this? I can't remember, because... I don't really know.
"Hindi ka excited?"
"Not at all." Walang ganang tugon ko. I remembered what I've been overthinking.
Speaking of birthday, when was Ferish's birthday? Halos magkasunod lang kami.
"Bakit naman? 'Di ba---"
"Lexi, just continue what you're doing. Octa doesn't seem to be in the right mood." Tori butted in and she's definitely right. I agree with her this time. Hindi na nakasagot si Lexi na tinapos na lang ang ginagawa.
Ferish... seems to be avoiding me.
Midterms is coming. Umalis si Ferish nang tatlong araw tulad ng sinabi niya, nang hindi man lang nagsasabi kung saan siya pupunta.
She was accompanied by that Prince, Zeri. We were fine when she left, but when she came back... she feels different. Hindi ko alam kung may ginawa ba akong mali dahil hindi naman siya nagsasabi sa akin.
She's been silent. Kinakausap niya naman ako pero ramdam ko ang pagitan sa aming dalawa. I can't feel her now. It felt like there's something bothering her that she cannot tell me. Hindi siya nagsasabi. Ayaw niya talagang magsabi. Every time I try to talk to her about it, she is only dismissing the topic.
Just, what the hell happened when she left? Ako ba ang may mali, o siya? Kung siya, ano namang mali?
Hindi ako sanay sa pananahimik niya. I would rather see her expressing herself in front of me, than to see her silent as if she's back from the darkness she tried so hard to get out of.
Magaling na rin naman siya sa sakit niya. I took care of her, of course. But, why the hell would she avoid me? Napapansin ko talaga 'yon. I can't be mistaken. Tapos, palagi rin siyang may pinupuntahan na hindi ko alam kaya pag-uwi niya ay para siyang laging pagod.
Nakakainis, but at the same time, it's saddening. Why is she avoiding me? If she only knew how I feel towards her, would she still avoid me? I am worried.
No, I am beyond worried for her.
"Why don't you just ask her?" Tori suggested. Inis na binalingan ko siya ng tingin.
"Ginawa ko, pero iniiwasan ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit."
Napahawak ako sa ulo nang bahagyang sumakit iyon. She's good at giving me headaches. Anong mali? What's her reason to avoid me? Naiilang na ba siya sa akin? I tried to taste the blueberry cheesecake in front of me, but I can't seem to swallow the food. It's my favorite.
YOU ARE READING
Ablaze |Season 1|
Romance"You're the blaze that I'm willing to touch and let myself get burnt." _____ Octavia Raileigh Quinsley is a woman of absolute perfection who wouldn't dare to encompass herself in a world full of radiant hues, and would rather cage herself in her own...
