Ablaze |Season 1|

Chapter 8

OCTAVIA

"MOM, ARE we going to be fine?"

"Yes, anak. Shh... we'll be safe."

I drowsily opened my eyes as I remembered that particular moment of my teenage years where everything is violent, bloody, and ferocious. Up until now, it is brutally haunting me.

The lifeless bodies. The blood scattered around. The screams in horror. Everything is still vivid in my mind. I can feel the fear creeping into my system, gradually decaying my broken sanity.

Bumangon na ako sa pagkakahiga at nagsuot ng robe habang walang gana sa lahat ng bagay. I've lost my appetite and will to continue surviving the days. I am merely surviving, and I didn't know how should I live after everything that's haunting me.

Ilang araw na akong umaabsent at hindi nakakatulog nang maayos. I keep on having flashbacks on those memories because I was recently triggered. It is nonstop. It is cruel to torture me in this way.

Bumaba na ako at nagpunta sa bar counter para magsalin ng wine. Nakita ko si Yaya pero hindi ko siya pinansin at pabagsak na naupo sa isang stool. It's in the middle of the night and yet, I cannot sleep again. I need to calm down.

"Hija, ikaw, magsabi ka ng totoo. Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo at ilang araw ka nang gan'yan? May nangyari ba? Kinukulit na ako nung mga magulang mo."

I shook my head to dismiss the question. "I'll give them a call tomorrow."

I've been ignoring everyone. My friends, Yaya, and even my parents. I wanted to escape. I just wanted to lock myself up so no one will be able to hurt me again. I want to hide from those hideous monsters so I will be safe.

"I'm fine, yaya." Nilingon ko siya at bahagyang ngumiti. "I'll be fine."

"Ito namang alaga ko. Magsabi ka kapag hindi na kaya, ha?" Lumapit pa siya sa akin at magaan na niyakap ako pero tumango na lang ako sa kan'ya at nagpasalamat na.

Yaya cares for me like a mother, but I don't want to burden anyone with these frustrations that I have. I'd rather carry everything alone, than to drag those innocent people into my own hell.

"Nand'yan nga pala 'yung kaibigan mo." Sabi niya bago umalis ng pwesto.

Friend? Who?

"Surprise."

Ah, Tori and her weirdness again. She said that word with an emotionless tone. Bakit ko ba 'yan kaibigan? Sumulpot siya mula sa dilim pero hindi ko na siya pinansin at binalik sa iniinom ang tingin ko.

"Tell me, what's been bothering you?" Kinuha siya ng wine glass at nagsalin na rin sa baso niya. Naupo siya sa tabi ko at prenteng nagdekwatro habang magkasalungat ang pwesto namin.

"That girl." Tukoy ko kay Ferish nang maalala siya. "She is an eccentric girl with an annoying smile." I pointed out while trying to imagine her adorable face.

It's been bothering me, for real. Hindi na nakakatuwa. I can feel her huge and unknown effects on me. The way her eyes stares into mine, it is always painted with longing and agony.