Need You To Need Me | Jenlisa

XXI.

It had been a 4 am, no-sleep-for-48-hours kind of decision.

She usually wasn't one to act impulsively, if it was even right to call what she was about to do that, considering her brain had been repeatedly telling her the same three sentences for about three days (and nights) straight.

In her mind it felt like the only way out.

Only when her plane landed, she felt like she was able to breathe again.
Everything felt so distant and foreign. Yet, unfamiliarity had never felt more reassuring to her.

She had called her dad, or better begged him, to get him to buy her a plane ticket for coming to visit him in Thailand.

Her dad had, of course, been a little reluctant to comply to her daughter's request. After all, it was the beginning of the new semester of her senior year. Taking a two weeks vacation wasn't really contemplated on her school's plan of study.

Lisa couldn't really use the "I miss you" excuse since she could probably count in the palm of her hand how many times her dad and her had actually had a conversation.

Only after she lied and told him she was having a rough time at school and shed a few tears ( she hadn't needed to lie for that) her father finally granted her the permission to come to visit him.

Her parents had divorced when she was four so she never really knew what it was like to have a present dad, giving the fact that as soon as the divorce paper had been signed, her father fled the country to return to his homeland, Thailand.

Lisa had been to Bangkok a few times during the summers of her childhood. But, as soon as she started growing older, going to a foreign country alone where she didn't know anyone except her father, who never bothered too much to entertain her, and a few relatives, started to become more of a duty than a pleasure. So she stopped going altogether and started spending her summer break with the girls at Jennie's beach house.

Lisa didn't despise Thailand. She thought it was beautiful. She despised the way she felt when she was there. Alone, like she had no one in the word.

But in that moment, not only she had felt the same at home but it was also exactly what she was looking for. A place where she could compartmentalize her feelings, bring on what she referred to as her "thai personality" and pretend she was someone else for a while.

A skinny bald man in a suit was waiting for her at the exit of the airport. He was keeping up a sign with "manoban enterprise" written in small elegant letters on it.

Lisa recognized the logo as her father's company name and followed the man.

For once, she had been thankful of the veil of formality that her dad always laid on everything. Letting the driver do his Job without having to utter a single word went along perfectly with Lisa's jetlack.

She slept for the two hours long drive until they reached their destination.

Lisa's dad had always loved the worldly life and never shied away from being under the public eye. But he also liked to find the right balance in things. He attended all the right parties on the weekend and retreated to his house in Phuket during the rest of the week.

The first thing Lisa did as soon as she had her things taken to one of the guest rooms, was going to the water.

She let her body float on the surface of the water while her ears filled with the sound of the ocean. That had always been the only moment when her brain stopped working. When no thoughts disturbed her.

She smiled slightly, thinking she had indeed done the right thing to come all the way there. It had been worth it.

At dinner that night she finally saw her dad. It had been a while since the two of them met. Lisa noticed how his dark brown hair now had a few chops of pepper hair next to his ears and how there were a couple of new wrinkles in the side of his eyes. But still, they held the same sparkle they always had.