Need You To Need Me | Jenlisa

XXXVI.

"Each person feels pain in his own way,
Each has his own scars"
Haruki Murakami, Kafka On The Shore

It'd hit her when she least expected it. That sensation, that thing she couldn't name that was wrecking her world, yet healing it at the same time. Because everything was different except for the fact that it was not. If anything, it was slowly starting to go back to how it was.
The lingering touches, the genuine smiles, the sparkle in the eyes were all things Lisa thought had been replaced by hatred looks and selfish ways.

Part of her knew what she was going towards, but when Jennie looked at her like she hanged the stars in the sky, her brain knew no logic. She would bring her entire constellations if that was what it'd take for that look in the brunette's eyes to never leave her.

Sometimes Lisa found herself not only wondering but wishing she was in a dream. Because if things were to go south, she'd rather have something that left a bad taste in her mouth rather than wreck her heart in two. Even if she was used to it, to that tug at her heart, the cold shivers, the sleepless nights, she had the impression that Jennie wasn't. And what if she couldn't handle it?

Lisa knew that the older girl had never left herself feel. Not in this way at least. She also knew that sometimes not even the purest love can heal scars so deep.

But, she chose to ignore it. They had been by each other's side their entire lives. Lisa liked to think that they needed each other not like the Earth needs the Moon but like the ocean needs the rain and the rain needs the ocean. One without the other wouldn't exist, because they were made of the same thing, yet they were different.

"I want to take you to Thailand"

Usually, these weren't the kind of things that were said during an algebra lesson at eleven thirty in the morning. But to Lisa, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to lean lightly to her left and whisper the words to Jennie like she was asking to borrow a pen.

Jennie was copying the problem on the blackboard and Lisa noticed how her hand suddenly stopped writing and her eyes fixated on her notebook before she whispered back:

"I'd love that".

Just like that, a promise was made on both parts. On Lisa's to make her best friend see her other home, on Jennie's to stay.

For the first time in months, the four of them were seated at their usual table, eating lunch and laughing like nothing ever happened. They just took back from where they left and Lisa felt that sensation tingling every inch of her skin again.

This time, Chaeyoung was throwing glances at Jisoo the same way Jennie was doing with Lisa.

The latter had been so immersed in Jennie and the girls that she had forgotten about another brunette that was waiting for her to eat lunch together in the cafeteria. Their eyes met and she shot up from her place, her feet hurriedly making their way to her first mistake.

There was guilt in her eyes that she was sure Soojin could see. The sad smile on her face was proof of just that; like she already knew everything. But obviously, Lisa needed to say something to get the both of them out of the miserable situation.

"I wanted to ask you to eat lunch with us" Lisa tried asking with her most upbeat voice. But unfortunately for the both of them, she had never been a good liar.

"That's okay, I don't want to intrude" Soojin said, her eyes going to the floor.

Lisa noticed how the scene looked a lot like the first time the two of them talked. This time, though, there was no giddiness nor awkward smiles but only a sad revelation.