Rays in the Dark

Sucked into the Shadows

How did you poison me enough to let me believe I deserved you? You, of all people, only doing things because they were what you wanted, and always running away from me? How did you sink your teeth in deep enough to hold me captive in your hold as long as you did? Maybe I should have run the second I saw you, but there was no use, no point. Your poison had already seeped into my bloodstream.

There is no way to run from these demons. They live on the shoulders of innocent girls, and off of every negative thought that enters their minds, sucking everything bright and good up like a vacuum pressed against the carpet in your childhood bedroom. Where were the good people, who helped you up or got you out of a hole you dug too deep? When would they come to the rescue?

They hid in the deepest depths of the world, hoping not to be damaged, too. Right when I thought all of them were gone- lost forever- you found the strength to step out of the dark. With sweet words and almond eyes, you rushed up to a girl so broken she lay collapsed on a cobblestone street. You took my hands in yours, so strong and sure when they lifted me up. Right away, I could feel a warmth I thought I would never feel again as you wrapped your body around hers like a thickly woven blanket. It was only then that could say I knew what it felt like to have a home in a person. Only then, did I feel safe and alive. Only then could those words be true.

After too many years of being used and abused by everyone in my life, I could open up. I could be free to unlock the hidden entrance to the walls built to keep out the nay-sayers, the ones who said they would build me up just to toss bombs on a newly found fortress. Weight falls from my chest whenever you walk into a room, always with a warm smile to offer me on my dark days. I can learn to be myself again, to laugh or grin from ear to ear without it being a lie. I have you to thank for that.

At first, I didn't understand that I deserved to be this person, this girl that could have good things happen to her. How does a woman in this dark world run by scowling men keep that in mind when strangers are so keen on tearing people like me apart the second they see a smile on her face? How do I believe that I can be good when I see so much darkness, so many wrongdoings, in a single day?

Here I am, trapped in an endless abyss, a maze that alters itself as soon as I find the right path, for what seems like forever. Is there a way out? Could somebody, anybody, show me the turn? Maybe it's not time. I may not have learned my lesson. I see the devil staring back at me now, with hands so smooth and eyes so angelic I can't help but let him in.