Rays in the Dark

The darkness in disguise.

She was a river

of everything I had ever dreamed

until she wasn't.

She was a gleaming sun

on my darkest days

until her fire was extinguished.

She was my best friend

and my favorite person

until I realized

she was an enemy.

Insults were disguised

in sweet kisses like honey

mixed with the warm milk

that was once provided

by my mama's hands.

This was my fault.

This was my mistake.

I broke myself

by falling into her arms.

I did this.

I tore my own heart

back to smithereens.

The pain was a welcome distraction

from the storm

I made my home in.

A break from feeling numb,

a fragile bag of limbs and organs

frozen in time

as the world evolves around her.

Every 'I love you'

was colder than the last,

four hands once intertwined

now a thousand miles apart.

Her sweatshirt I wore to bed

collects dust in the back of my closet.

Those blankets we shared

burned with the house we built

when times were different.

When our lives were simple.

Before the fall.

Before the darkness.

Before the flame

that would raze all we knew.