Misfortunate Molly: Would Heartbreak, Break You?

Chapter 48 Life Givers

"Hey babygirl." Daddy's voice is always comforting. He walks all the way in my room and kisses me on the forehead.

"Hey."

"What you thinking about in here?" He is looking into my eyes. He always has known when something is going on in my head.

"That I WILL pass this class. I started to remember some things." I smile to him and he smiles back.

"The look on your face when I walked in suggests you were contemplating something else." This man knows me too well.

"Yeah..." I look to him as if he is already chastising me, "I was thinking about whether I really wanted to remember memories I may have forgotten. Like... memories of Curtis and I. I was arguing with myself about how stupid it sounds to forget him and leave him in the past. Like I want to move forward but I want to take him with me at the same time." He shifts and leans up against my desk so my neck is not straining to look up at him. "Does that make sense?"

"It does. You can remember him and take his memory with you without dwelling in the past. He is a part of you. Just don't get caught up in the 'what if's."

"Yeah. I AM trying. Accepting him as gone is still baffling to me. Everything happened so fast." I look around me, at nothing in particular. "Like way too fast. My head is still spinning."

"I can imagine. Your mother leaving had the same affect, minus the death thing. She did disappear into thin air though It had my head spinning and searching for answers." I can hear the exhaustion in his tone.

"And now we know the truth of that." I feel anger peaking but still no crack. No lava. No fire. Nothing...

"We do." He nods to this and the look in his eyes change. "Well..." He stands up and rubs my shoulder, "Let's not dwell on what we can't change." He looks down at me and smirks then walks out of my room.

I can tell that the memory of her leaving still disrupts his thoughts. It still bothers him. I know that the shit she unwillingly informed us about definitely opened up old wounds and created new ones. I am still in awe of her selfishness. I could NEVER.

The way she only thought of herself. She had a child and a husband. She just up and left to start a new family. I remember my dad explaining to me that my mother is a free spirit. Why even get married? Or have a child or children, if you are not going to stick around? She is now on her third marriage and has had two children. I just do not get it. I do not understand. It is all so confusing

I will admit to myself that I am in fact struggling with her abandonment. Her letter... Seriously? The way she continued to criticize me and uplift everything about my brother. Her precious son who I never will have the chance to meet. I am in no way upset with him or envious of her admiration towards him. She just pisses me off how dismissive she is about me and my feelings and me as her daughter all together. Move on... There are so many things I want to know. I feel like I have the right to know. I have the right to ask questions.

Why did she not just have another child with my dad? What made her cheat? Who is this man she is now married to? Is he anything like my dad? What attracted him to her? Or her to him? Who approached who? How did they meet? Where did they meet? What was her pregnancy like with my brother? Was she a stay-at-home mom with him like she was with me? What is her life like now?

And for them to be answered. I can feel the resentment getting stronger towards her, knowing that my questions may never be answered, knowing I may never see her again. Oh, you WILL hear from her again. BELIVE THAT! My inner thoughts attempt to comfort me. I will not lie, I hope my inner me is right. I do hope to see her again. I deserve closure.