Misfortunate Molly: Would Heartbreak, Break You?

Chapter 38 Light

Same eyes, slightly lighter in color. Same hair. Same skin tone. These pictures, they are memories of my little brother. He resembles me. The last two pictures are of him older. One says he is ten and the other, he looks slightly more mature. He looks happy. Smiling. His eyes tell me he has a good life. Well, he HAD a good life.

A sliver of paper catches my eye. I pull on it and it is a notecard with his name Novak, birthday July 13, favorite color Yellow, favorite animal Bat, favorite food Pizza, favorite thing to do Ride my bike, all written is a child's handwriting. It must be his. It warms my heart that his favorite color was yellow like mine and I also love pizza!

I feel something hard in the corner of the package. I look into the burnt-yellow envelope again. I pull out a few more pieces of paper. They are drawings. One is a turkey made from his hand print and one of his family. They had a cat. I did not find the source to the hard object. Turn it upside down and a key falls out along with a small braided string bracelet.

I pick up the folded pieces of lined paper. I open it knowing it has to be from my mother.

To my dearest daughter Molly,

I know I haven't been much of a mother to you since I left and for that I am truly sorry. I thought of you every day and I will continue to do so. You were my world for many years. You must know I love you. You are older now, with your own mind, your own opinions, your own feelings. I will not try and convince you to forgive me. You will do that on your own. Nonetheless, I am your mother.

I left you with some memorandum of your brother. He was an amazing, smart, and inquisitive little boy. Much like you were. Although, he lacked your tempter. He was patient and caring. Sweet and his innocence to this harsh world left with him. He would have loved you very much. He always wanted a sibling, much like you did. His smile alone could make you forget all your troubles. His laugh would erase all your sins. Whenever he said, "I love you", you could feel the purity in it. He loved swimming and watching our cat chase after a laser. He loved playing outside and riding his bike. He had many friends from school and on our street. He read a lot at night before bed. Something I used to try and get you into the habit of but you were too stubborn. He loved to watch the discovery channel and learn about bats. He had this obsession with knowing that the bats were blind but always knowing where they were flying.

I do pray that you are able to get through the death of your boyfriend and my abrupt visit and departure. I came to see you out of impulse, because your brother died in an accident. I am grateful to God himself for sparing you. I was so worried about you that I couldn't wait for the next broadcast to make sure you were okay. Accepting your brother's fate should not be too difficult because you weren't lucky enough to know him. Try not to dwell on this. Lean on your father. He is a great provider. He will always be there for you. No matter your issues, he will love you. Continue to draw. You are good at it and it can be very therapeutic. That is why I still paint. You are smart and beautiful and I hope you do not let that go to waste within your despair. I know you can find your way through this.

I am not sure when, or if, I will see you again. I will contact you if I decide it will be in my best interest to see you. Please do not try and find me. You will struggle if you search for me. My name is no longer Saskia Sleumas and I am far from you. I do apologize for my secrecy but myself and my husband have been through enough with the death of Novak. If he learned of you and your father, it would surely break him. I do hope you don't take this personally.

Mommy

"Are you seriously fucking kidding me right now?!" I yell to the universe.

I pick up all the contents from the envelope and go to my dad's office. I almost fall down the stairs during my angry trek. My dad is at his desk when I enter the room.