Surviving The Complicated [Book Four]

Three

Demi

"I'm assuming Kobe doesn't know?" Sirah asked once I'd calmed myself down. I shook my head in reply to her. "Why haven't you told him?" I sniffled and wiped at my cheeks.

"Because he's going to be so happy about it."

"He deserves to know, Dem. He deserves to know how you're feeling too. He knows that something is bothering you."

"What if he hates me when I tell him the truth?" Sirah's lips twitched ever so slightly as she shook her head.

"I don't think that man could ever hate you, Demi" I sniffled, glancing down as I twiddled my fingers. "How long have you known about them?" I quickly wiped at my cheeks.

"Over a week."

"How haven't you told anyone?"

"I kind of just pushed it to the back of my mind, I didn't really want to think about it" I choked on a sob and dropped my head into my hands. Sirah ran her hand along my back as I cried, guilt and fear mixing in together. "Dropping Zay off at school reminded me of it. I won't ever be able to do that with Thea and I can't lose this baby, Si" she wrapped her arms around me. She couldn't tell me that I wouldn't because I could. I could lose this baby like I had Thea or like I have with every miscarriage I suffered before. We struggled to conceive Thea and when we did I was a nervous wreck. I was terrified that I'd miscarry. When we passed the 20 week mark, I thought everything was perfect and we would end up with the perfect baby afterwards, but we didn't. We lost her at 28 weeks. She would be 2 now.

"I'm assuming that you haven't seen your doctor either?"

"No."

"Is it okay if I book you an appointment?" I glanced to her, wiped my cheeks and sniffled. "You need to get the pregnancy confirmed, Dem" I nodded as she stroked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Do you have your doctor's number?" I leant to grab my phone off the coffee table and unlocked it before I handed it to her. I grabbed a tissue off the coffee table and wiped my nose as Sirah rang my doctor's office. "I'm calling to book an appointment for my friend who believes that she could be pregnant" I glanced down and twiddled with my fingers. "It's Demetria Johnson" I nibbled down on my lower lip. "Thank you, I'll let her know" Sirah removed the phone from her ear and flashed me a smile as she passed it back to me. "They've booked you an appointment for 11 on Friday" I nodded, numbly staring at her. "You need to tell Kobe, Demi."

"I know" I released a sigh, running my fingers through my hair.

"Will he be home before you have to pick the kids up from school?"

"Yeah, he'll be home for 1. We're picking them all up at 3. I'm glad they're all at the same school" Sirah lightly laughed.

"Until Ayla goes off to middle school."

"Don't" I groaned as Sirah just laughed louder. "I can't believe she's going to be 10. Can you believe it's been 10 years?"

"Time sure flies."

"It does when you have kids" I laughed as I wiped at my cheeks. "You wanted to watch a movie" the smile on her face widened as she nodded and grabbed the remote.

"You're going to love it."

-

I pulled my eyes from the tv at the sound of front door. Cinderella lifted her head off the couch but made no attempt to move.

"You're getting old, huh, Ella?" I lightly scratched at the top of her head. She sighed as she lowered her head back onto the couch, her eyes going to the door as Kobe stepped into the room. I lightly laughed as her tail hit against the couch.

"Hi Baby" I smiled over at Kobe, giggling as he pressed a peck to my lips.

"How was work?" I shuffled over on the couch so he could sit down beside me. He wrapped his arm around me as I cuddled into his side.

"Not too bad" he pressed a kiss to the top of my head. Kobe is working as a personal trainer at the gym just down the road from our house. We still live in Studio City, in the house I brought just after Max and I separated. The house really is our home, the neighbours are friendly, the area is safe. It really is home and I couldn't ever imagine moving away. "How was your day?"

"Good. I-I actually need to tell you something" I began to trace patterns on his chest.

"You okay?" I swallowed down the lump that rapidly formed in my throat and pulled away from his side. I glanced down at my hands and began to play with my fingers. "Babe?" I adjusted how I was sitting on the couch so that I was facing him, one leg curled under me, the other dangling over the edge of the couch. He lightly took a hold of my chin and lifted my head so that I was looking at him instead of down at my hands. I could see the worry in his eyes. "What's wrong, Baby?" my eyes welled up with tears at the term of endearment.

"I don't want you to hate me" his eyebrows furrowed at the sentence. His thumb wiped the fallen tear from my cheek.

"I could never hate you, Demi. What's going on, Babe?" I chewed down on my lower lip.

"I-I'm pregnant" the smile that spread across his face made the guilt eat away at me. "And I'm not excited about it" he cupped my face in his hands and wiped at my cheeks.

"Baby, I completely understand that. You don't need to think that I'm going to hate you. I'll admit I'm a little terrified too."

"I'm scared that the same thing is going to happen, Kobe, the same thing that happened to Thea. I can't go through that again" he wrapped his arms around me and held me against him. I nuzzled my face into his neck and sobbed. Kobe's fingers delicately traced my spine. I found the gesture comforting. It helped slightly to ease my guilt to know that he didn't hate me.

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