That won't happen to you

Chapter 48

"NO!!!" "NO!" screamed Ahsoka, clinging to her dead friend as dozens of tears ran down her cheeks.

She did not realise that she was blocking off Kix that way.

"General. Get the Commander out. Maybe I can still save the girl." the clone shouted rushedly as he gathered some things to help Lou.

Anakin grabbed Ahsoka by the shoulders and pulled her away from Lou and into the hallway.

Of course, this wasn't exactly pleasant for Ahsoka, but if Kix saw a chance....

Ahsoka fought back furiously. Violently she kicked, screamed and punched. She even tried to bite Anakin's hand, but he wouldn't let go.

"You need to calm down. He's trying to save her" Anakin said, but it was no use.

Ahsoka continued to punch, kick and scream.

Anakin had never seen her so upset, so wild and desperate.

He could feel her fear, her anger, her sadness.

She was filled with all those feelings a Jedi shouldn't have, but he couldn't blame her for that right now.

Instead, he sat down on the floor with her, which at least stopped her kicks, continued to hold her, and whispered reassuring words in her ear.

It took a long time. Very long, until her blows became weaker, her voice duller.

From unrestrained rage, she changed to a state of deepest sorrow and worry. Instead of pounding her fists, she held her palms to her face to cover her stream of tears, and her loud screams turned into unrestrained sobs.

Anakin remained sitting there with her. He stroked her lekku soothingly and continued to whisper soothing words. That Lou would make it. That she was strong, and Kix was a good medic.

But all these words did not arrive at Ahsokas mind.

They bounced off her like a blaster shot off a lightsaber.

She could only think of Lou. At her pale figure and the long-drawn out penetrating beeping.

She could only see blurry again, even when she brushed the tears from her eyes.

Slowly she lowered her hands after wiping her face dry.

Her sobs became quieter until they finally stopped altogether.

Her hands were not clenched into fists, and her shoulders no longer drooped.

All this might have pleased Anakin, could he not sense her emotions.

For her eyes reflected the desperation he sensed in her. The desperate hope as well as the desperate fear.

She was not getting better, but worse.

And then the door to the med bay opened and Kix stepped out.

Ahsoka was immediately on her feet, as was Anakin.

"Well?" the young Jedi asked, while not a peep came from the girl next to him.

She just stood there, looking at Kix expectantly.

"General. I tried everything in my power, and she responded."

Anakin breathed a sigh of relief. But Kix was not finished yet.

"Only briefly, though. Before I could get her all the way back.... I ...am so infinitely sorry sir. She's gone for good."