The Story Of Us

Carry On!

The weeks carried on like that. I was so used to the routine now that I didn't need an alarm to wake myself. Mitch had good days and bad days but I took every day at a time.

On his bad days he would stay inside. His mood would be easily changed, usually from sad to angry. He would also forget things pretty easily and find it harder to breath. He wouldn't be able to walk as far and would be more reluctant to take his pills.

I also noticed how the pills affected his mood. They would make him sick for an hour afterwords, almost green in colour. He would never complain though, just sat through it. Tried to sleep it off.

On Mitch's good days he was up to do anything and everything. He wanted to go shopping and go to the studio and go out for dinner. He would ask if we could go for walks in the park or down to Starbucks.

He was still alright with filming SuperFruit videos. He explained everything on camera and then we got back off to normal. It was always the best twenty minutes of the week. Filming SuperFruit made Mitch happy I could see it. It was normality for him and he didn't have to stop doing it, unlike other things.

After a couple of days in the studio Mitch decided that he was going to quit Pentatonix. He explained how he felt he was holding us back. He couldn't control his breathing and his voice had become rough and hoarse. He no longer had his silky smooth voice that could hit high notes with perfection and sing like an angel.

He still insisted on coming to the studio though. He insisted on watching us and helping us arrange. That also seemed to cheer him up a bit. He couldn't sing with us but he could help us. He could still write music and arrange covers. He told me how it cleared his mind a little.

He had taken more and more trips to the hospital, more often then not I would go with him. I found the hospital to be a rather depressing place. It was filled with crying parents and sick teenagers and vomiting elderly people. The doctors were all solum and only seemed to bring bad news. I never got to see the side of it that had all the happy mothers who had just given birth or the people who had just been discharged.

Mitch had MRIs and pet scans and X-rays. He was tested over and over. They took pint after pint of his blood. They gave him shots of medicines and injections full of colourless liquid. It was like being in a meth lab.

The time of day I loved the most was when Mitch was getting chemo. He would have to sit still for that, so we would often cuddle on the couch watching SpongeBob together or play a game. He was always most relaxed when getting chemo. He liked to talk more and would be less sleepy. They also had started allowing me to administer it, leaving the bags of it in a box on our top shelf. I could connect it myself to save a nurse coming to our house every couple of days.

I had noticed Mitch had now also lost interest in some foods that he used to love. Coffee being one of them. He said how the coffee stung the inside of his mouth. He hadn't had any alcohol which I understood considering the doctor told him not to. He also hated spicy foods and hot foods. He had found a love a chocolate ice cream though, which he had never liked. He said how he liked the cold sensation in his mouth as the ice cream melting and slid down his throat. It had become harder for him to swallow so he liked that the ice cream didn't take too much effort to do that.

It was the Monday evening of the start of the second month. We had just filmed SuperFruit and Mitch had gone to take a shower. He had figured out how to be able to shower now with a cannula and oxygen tank. I could hear the faint sound of trickling water from upstairs.

The boys and I sat around the sitting room. Only Alex seemed to have become accustomed to Mitch. The others still got a shock when they saw him walking around pulling the oxygen tank behind him or when I took out the box of pills from the counter.

"Scott!" I heard Mitch's worried tone echo around the house. I went running up the stairs, taking two at a time. Bursting through the bathroom door I saw him sat on the ground, fully dressed.

"Are you alright?" I asked, bending down to his height.

"I fell over. I can't get up. My arms, they're not strong enough." He whispered. I carefully wrapped his arm around my neck and scooped him into my arms. My arms supported him under his knees and around his back.

I placed him down on the bed and sat next to him. "I'm sorry for being an inconvenience." He said, fiddling with the air tube.

I tilted his chin with my hand so he was facing me. "You're not an inconvenience." I whispered.

"But I can't do anything for myself!" He shouted, slamming his fists down onto the bed. I nearly jumped out of my seat. Mitch's face turned red with anger. "I hate it! Why can't it just go away? Or kill me! Why can't I be dead right now?!" Mitch screeched.

"Baby boy, don't say that. You'll get used to it. The pain will subside after a while." I tried to comfort him but he was having none of it.

"I'm making your life harder. Why are you going out with me, Scott? Why? Why are you putting such a burden on your life? You're going to get nothing out of it! I'm going to die, Scott! And it's going to happen sooner rather than later!"

"I'm going out with you because I love you." I tried to keep my voice steady and quiet, but it was extremely hard considering I wanted to burst into tears.

"Why don't you leave me right here right now!? There is definitely someone better out there for you! Someone who is less of a burden! Easier to handle! Someone you won't have to treat like they are totally incapable! Because trust me I don't want to hurt you!" His voice was getting louder and louder and I was sure one of the boys would come running any minute now.

"Mitch, please. I love you!" I could barely talk. "You're worth being with. You are the most amazing person I know."

"I won't be so amazing when my brain starts to turn into putty and I can't remember things or when my arms are so sore that I can't feed myself will I?"

"Mitch, you will always be amazing to me, no matter what! I've known you the majority of my life and never once have I not loved second being with you. You're the love of my life how can you not see that? There will be no one that I love more than you."

"I can't do this, Scott. My body physically cannot handle this!" That's when Mitch broke down. The tears building up in his eyes spilled over the edge and his head fell down into my lap. I immediately held him in my arms, rocking him back and forth to comfort him but it was no use. He still cried. I had never heard someone cry so much. It broke my heart, every second of it.

"Shhh... You'll be fine. We'll be fine. I can help you." I whispered holding him tight. I was in no way going to let him go. Not for anyone. "I love you!"

A/N
Pentatonix won a fucking Grammy! I'm dying and crying and wow! I'm sooooooooooooooproud of them I can't even explain it!
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