The Story Of Us

Being Strong

I could feel myself screaming as they took Mitch away. They wouldn't let me see him. Why couldn't I see him? "Mitch! Let me see him! Stop!" I screamed at the doctors as they pushed him along a long dark corridor. They turned a corner and I started to run after them but I never met the corner. I just kept running down a long, dark, never ending corridor. I kept screaming out for Mitch and I heard him faintly screaming in response but his voice seemed miles away and coming from so many different directions. I couldn't find him.

"Scott!" I heard someone shouting. It wasn't Mitch though. It was a girl. "Scott! Wake up, please!" I felt my body being shook frantically. I closed my eyes tightly as the darkness of the corridor began to take over. I was slowly slipping further and further into the darkness.

"Mitch! Come back! Help!" I screamed. I opened my eyes and the corridor was gone. I was out of breath, sat in a waiting room chair. People stood around me, staring. Kirstie leaned over me, her hands on my arms trying to wake me.

"Scott, it's alright. It was just a dream." Kirstie whispered. I felt my hands begin to shake as I sat up. I covered my face with my hands. I could still hear him shouting out for me in the back of my head. I looked around but he was no where to be seen.

"Mitch, where's Mitch?" I asked trying to stand. One of the people standing around me pushed me back into my seat.

"It's ok, honey. He's with the doctors." Kirstie consoled. I looked around frantically.

"I need to see him, Kirstie. I need to see him." I shouted. I stood again but the barrier of people was too much. I felt Kirstie grab my wrist.

"Scott, it's ok. He's fine. He's in good hands. Sit down, please." She pleaded with her eyes. I could see how much she wanted me to just sit down but I couldn't. I needed to see him. They were going to take him away.

"They're going to take him away. I need to see him." I tried to push past the people but Kirstie stood and grabbed my other wrist. She turned me so I was facing her. Her face became very serious but still soft. She knew how hard this was for me.

"He's alright, Scott." She whispered. That's when I broke down into tears. I fell to my knees and let all the emotions overcome me. My whole body shaking with absolute fear. I was terrified. So scared. It seemed impossible to even explain how bad I felt. My stomach turned and a familiar lump formed in my throat. The tears came like waves in a storm. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my body. They were the most comforting thing that could be there for me at the moment. I let myself cry into the pair of arms.

I felt the tears begin to subside after a while. My body became numb. I was full of emptiness. Nothing seemed real anymore. I may of as well of been dead. Because on the inside I was. All I could do now is think how selfish I was for letting myself break down when Mitch is in the other room doing the real hurting. He should be the one crying and shaking, not me. I'm so selfish. I should have stayed strong. Hung on for a little longer. At least he didn't have to see me like that.

The pair of arms were still wrapped around me. They seemed to be too large for Kirstie though. I had only just noticed that. They definitely weren't her. I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my head. I definitely wasn't expected the face I saw.

"Dad?" I asked. My voice nearly failed on me. I was going to disappear into a puddle of tears again. My dad looked down at me. He looked so concerned. So worried about me. He shouldn't be worried about me though. Mitch was the one we should be worrying about.

"Do you want to get off of the floor?" He asked. I nodded in response. He stood, lifting me onto my feet by my underarms. He slowly guided me over to the waiting room chairs again. Kirstie was still sat there. She looked like she had been crying. She gave me a shaky smile as my dad sat me down. I didn't smile back, I couldn't. I couldn't physically do that.

My dad knelt down in front of me and looked me dead in the eyes. I stared back, blankly. My mind was blank, no thoughts coming through. "Scott, are you ok?" He asked. I didn't answer. I didn't know my answer. I wanted to be ok, for Mitch. But being ok seemed wrong. But being not ok seemed even more wrong. It all seemed wrong. Nothing was right anymore.

"I just want everything to go back to normal. Normal where there's no cancer and I'm always happy. Where Mitch isn't in pain and we're all ok. It hurts so much to see him like that and I'm so selfish. I shouldn't have let myself go like that, he's the one who should be like that. He's the one who's dying. I can't bare to say that. He's dying! Why do things like this happen to the best people? Why? I wish I could take all of it off of him and give it to myself. I hate that I can't do that." My voice got progressively louder and shakier. The tears came to my eyes again and I bent over, hiding my face in my knees.

"Don't beat yourself up. You can't stop it. It's not your fault. I know you love him and I know it hurts like hell but it is no use beating yourself up about it. You have to be strong-" I had to interrupt him.

"I don't want to be strong anymore! I hate being the strong one! Everyone thinks it's so easy to be strong but it isn't! It's not easy! How can I be strong when the love of my life is slowly slipping away before my eyes?!" I shouted. People were staring again. But I didn't care. Let them stare.

"Scott..." My dad began but he was cut off by a doctor coming to talk to us.

"Mr Hoying?" He asked looking at me. I nodded. "Before we let you see him there's a couple things I need to say to you. He is extremely unstable, slipping in and out of consciousness every few minutes. He's on life support." He pointed towards the doors as if to say I could go in. He then turned to a couple on the other side of the waiting room. Only then did I realise that it was Mike and Nel. I immediately felt so guilty for saying all those things. They didn't need to hear that.

I felt Kirstie clasp my hand as I pushed the door open. I looked down at her and swallowed hard. This was going to be the hardest thing I had possibly ever done.

A/N
Do I have to say it again?...... Ok...... Sorry!

Vote/comment/share

Social media
Tumblr ciaraturner1310
Twitter @CiaraTurner5