The Story Of Us

The ICU

The seven days after that just got worse and worse. Mitch became so sick. I thought maybe it would pass. Maybe he'd get through it again. He was a fighter. He could do it.

He couldn't talk though. Whenever he would take a breath in a whistle like sound would come from his throat. He couldn't swallow. He couldn't eat or drink. Mitch had become incredibly weak. So much so that he couldn't lift his body up in bed. The pills weren't doing anything anymore. He couldn't keep down anything I gave to him.

Alex was the one to beg me to take him to hospital. I knew how sick he was. I knew he needed a doctor. But I wasn't ready. I couldn't let him go. I couldn't take him there because I knew. I knew he'd never come back out.

"Please, Scott. Take him. Or I will. Before something happens. Before you wake up in the middle of the night and he's stone cold. Please, they might be able to do something for him. Make him more comfortable." Alex begged through tears. I had never seen him cry before. He looked so vulnerable. So weak.

I stood staring at Alex. I couldn't think straight. My feet seemed to be glued to the floor. Alex looked at me with pleading eyes. It suddenly dawned on me. I was thinking of myself again. Not thinking about how this could of been damaging Mitch. How much pain he could of been in.

"Get in the car." I said to Alex, running back towards our room. I lifted Mitch into my arms. He couldn't even move his arms to put them around my neck anymore, they just dangled loosely by his sides. All of this time he was awake, staring blankly ahead of him. His eyes were vacant only showing little movements.

Alex was sat in the front seat of the car as I placed Mitch in the back. I sat into the passenger seat and Alex sped off down the road. "Where do I have to go?" He asked looking frantically out onto the road.

"The ICU." I stated pointing left. He drove as quickly as he could but the midday LA traffic was rife. Pulling us to a stand still. Alex slammed his hand down onto the wheel making the car honk as loud as it could.

I turned back to Mitch who was writhing around in the back seat. His chest was rising and falling faster than a cheetah hunting its prey. I put the back of my hand against his forehead. "He's burning up." I told Alex who turned around to look at Mitch.

"That's it!" He shouted. He pulled the car across to the hard shoulder and sped off down it.

"Alex, you're driving illegally." I told him.

"It's an emergency isn't it? They say you can drive in this lane if it is an emergency." He snapped. He turned off the freeway onto the road of the hospital. He pulled in left and I opened the door before the car had stopped.

Running out onto the tarmac I opened the back door and lifted Mitch out. I ran in with him in my arms. It seemed like I had done that hundreds of times now. I looked around the room and the same nurse as last time spotted me. She nodded and pulled over a trolley. I lay him down on it. This time running all the way onto the ward.

......

It took two days for Mitch to die. His heart failed twice. The second time it didn't start again. The cancer had taken over. It had stopped his heart. It had finally won.

I was sat in the waiting room when I found out. They had only let me into the ward twice. I could barely hear the doctor speak over the sound of my heart shattering. I had never felt so broken. I knew he was going to die and yet it was still the worst thing to ever happen to me. No tears came though. I had expected them to but nothing came. My body just became numb.

They told me I could go and see him. To have closure. I knew it wouldn't be closure though. I knew I'd still feel as bad when I came out of there.

They led me over to a room separated from the ward. It was a dull lit room with a bed in the middle. There was a body lying on the table. A body empty of any life. No steady movement of the chest. No air coming from their mouth.

The doctor stood in the doorway and said I could go in. So I did. I walked forward towards the bed. And there lay my Mitch. Hair styled in his usual way. Eyes closed as if he were sleeping. He looked so peaceful. But it wasn't right. He looked too straight. No little smirk coming from his mouth. No colour in his cheeks.

I reached my hand down to where his own was. It wasn't balled up into a fist or lying straight out, it was just there. I slowly and carefully threaded my fingers into his. His hand was as cold as ice. There was no reassuring squeeze or light pulse. There was nothing there. Lifeless. Dead.

I felt a silent tear trickle down my face and then another and another. My knees became weak and I dropped down to the floor. My hand still in his. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I love you so much. Please don't leave me. Please don't be gone. I can't take it. I can't live without you. Please come back." I begged. I pleaded. But nothing. He was already gone from me.

I kissed the back of his hand. Hoping. Praying. "I love you so so much. Please come back. Please just say something. Please. Please Mitch. Please." I stood back up and lifted his body into my arms.

I saw a nurse step forward out of the corner of my eye but the doctor put his hand out to stop her.

"I love you, Mitchy. Speak to me. Please come back." I cried as I dropped to my knees again. Mitch's body was a dead weight. His arms limp. His legs floppy. Nothing was there anymore. He was gone. Not coming back. But I couldn't accept that.

I held him close to my body like a child and screamed. Waves of pain rushed over my body and I thought I was going to vomit. "You can't leave me. We're a team. You're my other half. I can't do anything without you. I love you." My voice trailed away as I began to sob into his hair.

That's when I felt someone grab hold of me, gently. Someone else lifted Mitch from my arms and placed him back on the bed. The pair of arms around me uttered quiet soothing things into my ear but I didn't register any of it. The sound of my cries were too loud and were drowning the voice out. I just let them wash over me hoping that I'd drown in them before they stopped.

A/N
You don't want to know how much I cried while writing this. I had to take like the breaks. I am really very sorry. I hope everyone is ok.

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