Before you knew

30.

'Nick!' I throw myself at him and he catches me in a hug. My face cuddled into his chest and he giggles 'hi!' He says happily. 'I've missed youuuu.' I say as I attempt to hug him tighter then I already am. 'Alright, little jealous now.' Clay says behind me. I let Nick go and he hugs Clay for a second. 'How are you man? Haven't seen you since your moms birthday.' Clay says. 'I'm good! Happy to be here.' He says. We're at some park where we decided to meet up. It's half way to one another so the drive would be shorter.

'So what did I miss guys?' Nick asks. 'I offered to ask her to be my girlfriend, but she declined.' Clay says. I hit his arm, getting a chuckle from him. 'Ahw, I'm sorry. I'll be your girlfriend though.' Nick says. 'Yay!' Clay says as he hugs Nick, making me laugh as Nick hugs him back sweetly.

'How is it with your dad?' Nick asks after we sat down outside a cafe. 'Oh...' the sudden mention makes my heart grow heavy. Clay looks at me. I never talked to him about my father before, or even mentioned him. 'I uh... nothing.' I say softly. Nick gives me a sad smile and pats my arm 'I'm sorry.' He says. 'It's okay, nothing new.' I say shortly before taking a big swig of my burning hot coffee. I don't really drink coffee, but it's nice every once in a while. I feel my eyes burn a little so I look away. Nick notices and pulls me into his side 'I got u' he says. I lean my head on his shoulder 'thank you.' I say, enjoying the comfort. I take a deep breath in the silence. 'I heard you went to the Netherlands though, how was that?!' Nick asks to change the subject. I let out a breathy laugh and move to sit up straight, glancing shortly at Clay.

'It, Uhm, it was okay.' I say. The intense gaze of green eyes makes it a little hard to speak.

I'm used to telling everything about anything to Nick, he's good at talking and comforting. But with Clay here, I can't talk about the one thing I need to talk to Nick about.

'Okay? That's it?' He asks. I shrug and look away 'it doesn't feel like home anymore.' I say as I look at the coffee in the paper cup. 'Did something happened?' Nick asks. I look at him and smile a little 'I feel at home here. That's all that happened I guess.' I say. The "I guess" creates a knowing look on Nicks face. He knows there's something I'd tell him if it were just us. He knows me well enough. 'At least you got the see the place where you grew up again.' He says. 'Yeah.' I look at the ground. What a childhood to remember. As if I'd want to.

The drive back is quiet. Memories, thoughts, and build up emotions keep me on the edge of tears.

'You've been quiet.' Clay says. I quickly glance at him 'could you stop the car besides the road?' I ask. He gives me a confused look before pulling to the side and stopping the car. I open the door and get out, quietly closing it behind me. I dial Nick's number.

'Hey! Missing me this soon?'

He giggles to himself as tears well up in my eyes.

'Nick, could I- please.... can you come pick me up?'
'Did something happen? Are you okay?'

His worry makes the first tear leave.

'Please Nick, can I stay over at yours for a bit?'
'I... yes of course, but what's going on?'
'I have so much I want to talk to you about and I- I...'

I sniffle as explain what's wrong is difficult, seeing how it's so much right now.

'Alright, alright. I'll come pick you up. Where are you?'
'I...'
'Send me your location.'
'Okay, Yeah....'

The car door opens behind me. I sniffle and dry my eyes quickly, wanting to pretend I'm alright to Clay.

'You're still with Clay right, your not home yet are you?'
'No.'

Clay walks around the car. 'Amelia! What's wrong? What's going on?' He asks as he sees me. 'I... I want to stay with Nick for a little bit.' I say. 'We just saw him. What's wrong? Can I do something?' He asks. I shake my head 'no. I just.' I can't help the tear that leaves my eye. I tried so desperately to hold it back. 'I just need a moment with someone I can talk to.' I say.

I didn't mean it to hurt Clay, but the visible flinch and change in expression tells me I did. 'No i-' I want to make it right but he turns away 'okay. I understand.' He says as he walks back to the drivers side and gets back in the car.

I move to sit on the asphalt, back against the car as I hold the phone to my ear with a shaky hand.

'Amelia?'