Before you knew

90. Hurting.

=Clay=

She hasn't come home for a week, so I decided to go to her uncle to talk.
She told me she was staying there.

I head over.

I knock on the door and Amelia's uncle opens.
He seems surprised to see me.
'Clay?' He asks. I nod 'yeah, is Amelia here?' I ask him.
'She went to work.'

Right, I forgot she has the morning shift on Friday.

'Oh, okay.....'
what do I do now.
'You can come in for a bit. Do you want anything to drink?'

'I know you came for Amelia, but I think she needs some time.' Dennis tells me. 'I know. But I'm afraid that if I give her time she'll slip away from me.' I say as I hold the cup in my hands. He raises one eyebrow at me questioningly. 'What do you want from her? Why would it be bad if she were to slip away?' He asks. I look down at my hands. It's selfish, and stupid as to why it would be bad. 'I just don't want to loose her.' I say. 'Clay, listen to me. You gave her the idea you like her. You asked her on dates and you two were really close. You getting together with someone is hurtful after everything.' Dennis explains to me.

I know it would be.
Yet I didn't think she wanted to be in that kind of relationship with me.
I thought it was all friendly, so I tried to move on.

'Does She like me?'

'Oh boy, She cried over you. She cried for days.'

I clench my jaw and look away.

'I know.'

Somewhere I know.
She must have.
I knew suddenly breaking apart would her hurt too.
But I truly thought it would be best for us.

'Then why didn't you reach out to her?
Why didn't you give her the closure she needs?'

'Because I'm hurting too.'

The silence that falls after the sentence left my lips is painful and uncomfortable.
Mistakes written all over the situation I find myself in.

'I'm afraid that if I see her crying or hurting in front of me,
I would try to keep her close again.
But I can't do that.'

I glance at Dennis who looks sympathetic.

'I can't hurt her more then I already have.'

After an eternity of silence, Dennis lays his hand on my shoulder.
'Then there must be one thing you fail realize.'
He starts as he looks at the floor.
'She not hurting....'

'You are just slowly killing her.'