Before you knew

172. Shock.

I fall asleep again,
The medication having made me drowsy.

When I wake up again, I find the room empty.
The sun rises outside the window.

Soon enough a nurse comes in, giving me the option to wash up.
So I do.
When I get back there's breakfast as well, but I don't feel like eating.
I don't feel like anything really.

I sit and wait, the doctor still hasn't come back.
Neither has Clay.

I play with my food until the now slightly familiar doctor enters the room.
'Good morning.' He says before sitting down. 'Morning.'

He looks around the room for a second.
'I have some of the results. Would you like to hear them now, or do you want to wait for your husband?'
Some of the results?

The fact that he called Clay my husband completely passes me.

'I'd like to wait till he's back.'
The doctor nods.
'Then I'll come back later.'

After another hour, Clay comes back.
He looks exhausted and carries a bag.
'I brought some clean clothes.'

He says as he sets it down on the nightstand.
'Thank you.' He takes my hand and kisses my forehead,
Looking equally as empty and non caring right now.
'Did you eat something?' I ask him.

He shakes his head 'I'm not hungry.'

A soft knock on the door makes me look up.
Diana stands in the doorway.
'Morning.' She says with a sad smile.
'Hey.'

She steps in and walks over, laying a hand on her brothers back when she's close enough.
'How are you feeling?' She asks me. 'Scared.' I admit.

It's unlike the times I've been scared before.
Unlike being scared of being a bad parent.
Or being scared that this could go wrong.

I was finally at piece, but now.....

'It's going to be hard to get over a miscarriage.'
I say the words softly and Clay looks up.
'Is it....' I shake my head no.
'I wanted to wait for the results so you could be there.'

He lets out a breath.
'Good.'

That's when two nurses and the doctor rush into my room.
'We found some problems,we need to do internal work to try and save the fetus.'
I look at Clay and his scared eyes meet mine with the same fear.
'W-what?'

They take me to what looks like an operation room.
'We have to be quick, and putting you under is going to take some time, can we start immediately or do you want to wait?' The doctor asks.

'Immediately! Please do something.'
Something that looks like an iron rod, connected to electricity, gets pulled out first.
'It's going to be cold, and will probably hurt. But this will shock it lightly, getting the fetuses heart back in rhythm.'

I hold onto what I'm laying on and grit my teeth as they begin.
Once the thing is in the shocks start, which is more painful.
I cover my mouth with one hand as one of the nurses holds the other.
I whimper in pain as the shock jolts through my body.
This is too painful, I won't last like this.

'Please, I-'
I groan out at the next shock.
'I can't...'
Sweat stands on my forehead as I feel dizzy.
Cold gel for an ultrasound get put on me as I feel a next shock.
I try not to squirm to much, and I try to breath the best I can.

The rod gets taken away and they look at the ultrasound, someone listening with headphones on.
'We need to keep going, it's not back yet.'

I nearly scream in pain as they move the rod back in place.
'Get the father.'
I bite down on my hand as the shocks start again.
'Can we put her under?' I hear someone ask.

I don't notice the answer as another shock jolts though me.
My eyes are on the bright white lights above me.
Every shock feeling more painful.

'Amelia!'
Two warm hands touch my face and Clay moves to stand in front of me.
The cold operation room feeling warmer immediately.
I jolt at the next shock, but I get to hold on to Clay now.
'It hurts.' I whimper as I hold on to his arms.

'I know darling, I know. But this may save our boy.'
I breath in deeply, nodding before another shock comes.

My whole lower torso aches as the rest of my body aches by the tenseness in my muscles.
It feels like it's taking forever.