Before you knew

165.

The next day I get up and shower.
Despite the puffy eyes that remind me of yesterday,
I hum along to music, and happily hop down the stairs.

I put the music box down and hum to the music, holding my hand over my growing belly as I sway and slowly spin to the music. I smile as I slow dance alone in the early morning sun.

The weight and fear has lifted.
I'll face this head on.
Screw everyone else.

'Cheerful after yesterday.'
I jump at the voice, and turn around.
Clay stands in the doorway in only sweatpants.
'I.... Uhm...... I am.' I say as I turn the music down.

He looks at me a second longer before walking away, into the kitchen.
'Want me to make you breakfast?' I ask as I follow.

'Im not hungry.'

I look at him.
He didn't have dinner yesterday either.
'Clay-'
'I don't have an appetite.'

He walks past me and to his office, closing the door after himself.
Great. Now I have to deal with this.

I open the door to his office
'Clay, we can't just-'
'I don't want to talk to you right now. Please leave.'

I sigh and stand my ground.
'I want to tell you something.'

'Not now.'
Clay turns on his pc and logs in.

'Two nights ago-'

'I said not know, Amelia.'
His voice is stern.

'I dreamt of the three of us.'
It perks his interest as he stops typing.
'I, Uhm... dreamt of you running around after this little boy....'

Clay lowers his head.

'I heard him giggle, and your heavy footsteps followed....'
He doesn't tell me to leave, so I go on.

'Big green eyes, small hands....

He crawled into bed next to me, hiding from you.... giggling.'

Clay rubs his face, leaning his elbows on the desk.
I can't help but smile as I remember the dream.

'He said "daddy is scary" and I told him you always are.'
I rub my forehead.

'He liked your book.....
The old one I gave you last year.'

I move to lean against the wall,
And I can see a sad smile on clays face.

'He kissed your cheek as you kneeled next to the bed,
And he then kissed my nose.'

I chuckle as I remember.

'Then you said "that's my wife, you can't do that".'

Clay moves up and turns to look at me.
'You dreamt that?'

If hope was an expression,
Clay wears it perfectly.
I nod. 'Yeah.'

'Big green eyes.' I say with a soft smile.
'Enjoying birds, like you.' I tell him.
'And books, like you.' Clay adds.

He reaches out his hand, and I step forward to take it.
He pulls me closer and rests his head against my stomach.
'I need some time, to get over yesterday.' He says.

I lay one hand on his back as the other moves to play with his hair.
'I know. It's my own fault.'

A short silence falls.
Come to think of it...

'Thank you.'

The words make Clay pull back.

'For stopping me yesterday.

I would have hated myself,
And I would have regret it.'

Clay gently moves his thumbs over my sides.
'Please tell me you love me.' Clay says quietly.

'Oh baby, I do more then just love you.'