Before you knew

88.

I drive to my uncle in silence. Having left soon after I called him. My mind is quiet. Meaning something is bound to happen soon. The calm before the storm.

I pull up to the driveway off the house in a quiet neighborhood. He has a lot of land. A big garage next to the house and a big garden with blooming apple and pear trees. A warm breeze sets in, letting the sweet smell of the blossom pass by.

This is good.

I need a break.

I walk up to the door, and it opens. 'Amelia!' Dennis says happily. I try to put up a smile, but my lip starts to tremble as I tear up. 'Oh kid, what happened?' He asks. He wraps me up in a hug. 'It's ridiculous.' I say as I try to stop my pathetic crying. 'If it's making you upset it's not. Come take a seat.' He says as he lets me go and leads me to two chairs in the sun outside. 'So what's going on?' He asks. 'You remember Clay right?' I asks. He met him once, a while ago. He may not remember. 'Your roommate right?' He asks. I nod as I fiddle with my fingers. 'He took me out on Valentine's Day and he took me on a date not to long ago. And I know it sounds stupid now, but I thought he liked me. Yet he's been going on many dates with a girl for the past two weeks, in a way avoiding me.' I say as I tear up again.

'Thats not stupid.'

'No it is stupid but I've never felt this way for someone. And....' I sniffle as a tear slips away. 'It was foolish of me to get so attached to him.' I say. 'Amelia, sweetie, people get attached to people. That's how it goes. Getting attached to him isn't weird, he's a very nice and respectful guy, and you've been around him a lot. It was wrong of him to give you the idea that he wanted to get together with you.' He says. I clench my jaw at his words as I blink away the tears in my eyes.

'I don't know what to do. I don't want to watch him come home with some girl.' I say. 'That's understandable' he says. 'Is it?' I ask. 'Of course. You really like him, it's painful to watch the one you love with someone else.' He says. 'But I-'

The one you love

He told me he loved me, yet I never got to say it back.

You're so confusing sometimes

Was it my own fault then? Was it all because I was too cautious.
I sigh as Dennis pats my shoulder 'let me get you something to drink.'

He gets up and leaves me on my own to gather myself.

People scare me

They change their minds so quickly

One moment it's
'I love you' and
'You make me happy.'

And the next it's

'Im not sure anymore.' And
'This isn't what I want.'