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Title : "A Bubble of Happiness" depicts the world or a small corner where you can have happiness, contentment and peace from the realities of world.
Giving such a title to the story is very apt and perfectly suits to the thoughts, turmoils and undergoing of the protagonists.
Cover : A couple together in the cover experiencing peace and contentment surely tells their happy ending and happiness.
But due to the title "A Bubble of Happiness" the excitement, enthusiasm and the bubbly feeling is missing, isn't it? Also the cover is the first thing that a reader notices and then decides to read the story so you must work on it, to make it eye-catching and interesting. That would only add a bonus to the story.
Blurb : Showing the turmoils and conflicting thoughts of Akshita surely raises questions and interest to know what happened? And arousing this curiosity is good to attract readers. But only this seems incomplete. As through Blurb, two tasks are to be done that is gaining attention from reader and preparing them to read.
You can give a brief glimpse of story and describe some attributes of main characters so a reader can guess the inside of a story and know what are the contents to read. As it provides a uniqueness to the story.
Summary :
"A Bubble of Happiness" is a story of a girl Akshita Singhania, who is in search of some answers to her own questions. Belonging to a huge joint family with mom and dad, aunts and uncles, grandparents and siblings, who cares, loves and pampers her, even then she finds herself alone to find the closure or answers to some bugging questions. She finds truth and contentment in her solitude, may be short lived but dear to her. Don't worry she isn't the only main character creating the bubble but there's also a male lead Abhishek Rajput that she will introduce in her own way and recite the story, of their first encounter, banters, fights, secrets and much more to start their romance and love story. There are also friends or the gang of friends to complement their story from the happy school days bringing the excitement and interesting turns to the events and moments.
Analysis and Evaluation
Character Development : Characters framing, their role and their walk in-out are the most important to deal with while forming a story. Through characters only we can show the emotions, the thoughts and what we want to tell as a form of our story. I appreciate that you have dealt with the characters much fairly, its not easy to balance characters when they are so many and you have done a great job here, giving each of them a role and space while a good narration to understand them.
The emotions of characters are beautifully narrated and displayed.
The only thing you need to work on is to complete the ongoing talk or the background thought. While reading I felt the gap, as when I try to understand one scene or the characters thought, next scene is introduced without satisfying what actually to conclude or what you want to convey. As a writer you already know the happenings and feelings but to make the reader understand it, you have to explain more and properly end the ongoing scene. By working so you will feel the rhythm and smoothness in story.
Plot : Plot is beautifully framed with the growth and advancement between characters. The slow and gradual unfoldment of events and scenes with the feelings and emotions attached makes a plot and reading interesting. You did a good job in framing the plot. From starting to end, you have taken care of each and every character without leaving the romance of protagonists,which is appreciable. The use of small things and daily life events makes the story quite relatable and special.
Description : Description is such a tool, through which we can correct or complete the lack which remained while having conversations.
And you have made a full use of the tool to your advantage. You have the talent to describe and keep it up! You have brought the emotions to life, by making me feel the love - understanding of siblings, the care - scoldings of parents, over excited talks among your gang, the unknown feelings, the up and down of emotions, various mood swings etc. You have proved, we describe better what we have felt. Good job!
But at times, a single scene is enlarged and well described but the next one is short in description. So you need to balance this.
Grammar : Grammar and sentence formation is good. The minor grammatical mistakes can be removed with proofreading.
Punctuation, you need to work on this area. I'm sure this is only due to time hindrance that makes us lazy to correct punctuation, spelling mistakes, typos and use of abbreviations. This applies to heading of the chapters too. But a proper and neat display, makes the story presentable and a reader to go on.
Sensory Flow : Bringing out the emotional relationship among characters through our writings is an important task. As we only have words, to use and show what we want to convey. You did a good job displaying the emotions and feelings that the characters undergo.
As a reader I clearly felt what the character felt while having different thoughts to ponder.
Conclusion
Overall Impression : I thoroughly enjoyed reading the cute sweet and exciting romance of Akshita and Abhishek(The AA couple 😉).
As a reader, story is quite interesting, relatable and fun reading. You will enjoy different shades and moodswings from smile to laughter, care to teasing, happy to tears, cute to mature. You will enjoy the gradual growth of romance and realisation. The forgotten school masti, friends, classrooms and teachers. Do give it a chance may be, it brings back your school crush memories 😉!
Suggestions : I'm empty handed to further suggest anything. Just work on points mentioned, you have great potential and talent to grow.
If you have any query regarding review or want to ask something specifically you can comment or PM me.
