Review - The Candy Trap

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Author: Asmita_Mukherjee

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Author: Asmita_Mukherjee

Introduction -

Title: The Candy Trap. The first time I read the title, it definitely did give me the eerie vibes. Candy and Trap. My first idea was kidnap. Because usually we hear cases about children kidnapped and what better way to lure them than with a candy. I am glad that I am surprised. This story is more than just a kidnap scenario. It's a horrifyingly chilly goosebump-giving story which will no doubt get you high on adrenaline. But I'd be lying if I said the title bodes very amazingly well with the story. I personally felt that you could do a better job with it. I searched on google wondering if it was some metaphor but came up with nothing. My conclusion is that you highlight the show the obsession part. Do enlighten me about it.

Cover: The cover goes amazingly well with the title but like I said already, you could have done better. The typography and the colours were fitting well with the overalls of the cover. Good job!

Blurb: Short and terrifying. A perfect combination. It makes things look mysterious and gives the chilly aura. But it was misleading. At least to me. I thought Jas was the one who was obsessed with something that brought her doom. It was almost a bit confusing. I personally felt that having a bit of a longer blurb gives the reader a chance to know what to expect when they pick up the book.

Summary -

Life though wasn't the most easy-going, it was manageable and even nice and homey for Jas until it wasn't anymore. With a shady therapist's sudden entry, mysterious gifts turning up and a dead person coming alive, everything looks worrisome. This is Jas's story. How she holds perseverance against the ticking bomb called obsession and finally makes out alive. A story of courage, perseverance and obsession. When obsessions are involved, nothing comes out unharmed.

I honestly loved reading the story. Once I actually got into the plot, deep enough, I couldn't hold back from completing it. I must say, Great job!

Analysis and Evaluation -

Characters: I loved your characters and their characterization. Be it the shady therapist and borderline, scratch that, total psychopath Vijay, or the Bubbly Barsha. I loved how you showed Sonia and Vijay's psychotic behaviour. How you also gave the psychotic vibes to the shop owner and at a point to Barsha. But I think there are a few elements you can still improve. For example, you can throw some light on Vijay and Sonia's relationship. Jasmine's relationship with her parents. And Priyank. This will help your readers to connect with the characters in a better way. In a few parts your explanation sounded abrupt.

Plot: The flow of the story was amazing. I honestly loved it. But at parts it was predictable. Thing is, once she got kidnapped, I almost expected that she'd anyway escape. The Police will find her or something similar. I mean it's obvious with everyone. No author usually conceals his story without such a closure. But there was scope for concealing it a bit more.

Detailing: In any mystery or horror story, the key to suspense lies in Descriptions, I believe. I have to say, you did an amazing job there. I absolutely loved your descriptions in a few parts. I loved your harry potter comparisons too. Potterhead😇. But the best can always be bettered and there are a few parts you still can make wonders. Be it her suspicions on the therapist or on the shop owner or the doll too. You can explain why Jas couldn't recognize her therapist when he was one of her most feared nightmares.

Sensory Flow: I must accept that you have done an amazing job at describing feelings and emotions. But I won't be an honest reviewer if I don't tell you that there was still more scope of interpreting her emotions. More detailing will help you a lot.

Grammar, Vocabulary and Punctuation: I must agree, you did an amazing job here. Keep it up! There are a few inconspicuous errors of tense, but I believe another round of proof reading will help you with it.

Conclusion -

Honestly, it was an amazing experience to read your story. I enjoyed the experience of reading it. I loved your idea of using elements in the order of the Periodic table. Very Innovative!

Suggestions: Nothing more than already. Stress a little bit over your emphasis on descriptions and your story can reach new heights! All the best!

Anything else, PM me or comment after tagging me!

Regards,
Sanjana
virtueme01

Regards,Sanjanavirtueme01

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