Indian Book Reviews - Reviewers hiring!
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Title: Passion - Google defines it as a strong and barely controllable feeling. And I completely agree. Every one of us is passionate about something - be it their profession, or their hobbies, or relationships. But you know the best part about someone's life - having to get to work on their passion, professionally. (s)he is one lucky fella! I totally love how apt your title is to the story line. And the tagline - it clearly explains the concept behind your story!
Cover: Books - They are what form the basis, or should I say, the propelling force behind most professionals. Through books, through studying is how we get engineers, doctors, lawyers, judges, astronauts, and many other professionals. Every sane person on the planet has to get familiarised with books at a point of time in his life. Putting it in your cover, clearly shows how important a book is in one's life. But I think the measurement of your cover and the default measurement Wattpad allows to its cover, doesn't match, the result being the first part of your letters are cut. Also the colour contrast with your title and the background don't seem very well put. (Wattpad is 512 x 800)
Blurb: Your blurb, gives in all details of the story. I'd suggest making it a bit longer, at least a 100 characters long and also put in more descriptions. Instead of saying her final destination, you can talk about her struggle to overcome the dilemma of a career choice.
Summary :
Passion is a description of that phase of life which every student faces - the time when you have to choose your future career. Full of dilemma, fear of making the wrong choice, excitement of becoming a decision maker - we all face that plethora of emotions. The first ray of independence. Having come out from that phase, I know how hard it is, and also how important. I believe you all can also understand it. And that is what makes this story interesting and unique. The struggle of kids to do what's right. to work for the greater good of the society. Having such ideals is how most of us set out into life, how we mould later depends on the decisions we make.
Analysis and Evaluation-
Characters - The only character you portrayed in your story is the protagonist Anika herself. I believe you can put in more detail, more characters too to make the story sound as realistic as one would assume that they reminisce their own time of this career dilemma. Also, this will give you a scope to fully detail Anika's relationship with her friends, teachers, family and in turn give the reader a better understanding of her personality. It will allow you to connect strongly with the characters and make the plot all the more realistic and intriguing.
Plot - Honestly, having read so many billionaire cliches, bad boy - good girl stories, werewolf-vampire romances and many more such books, your story was like a breath of fresh air. You have very beautifully highlighted most of the dilemmas usually faced when making a career choice. Jumping from wanting to become a dancer to a lawyer to a judge - it all felt great to read. Very relatable. It was refreshing to read your story.
But there are a lot of inconsistencies in your plot. Instead of just saying that she changed her choice from a lawyer to a judge in one chapter, you can give a detailed explanation for her changed decision. I have no clear idea what is a DU and what is an NLU, at least not in the start. So had you given the complete forms rather than the abbreviations, it'd have been great. You haven't mentioned why Anika's friends isolated her? What was her attitude towards it? Such minute details were lacking. I believe you can correct it easily, with more experience. We always have a chance of improvement!
Sensory flow - There is a scope for improvement here. You can elaborate every emotion of Anika here, her dissatisfaction at her classmates, her annoyance towards not being able to make a choice, her helplessness at her teachers, her confusion, her anger when she got to know about corruption in the judiciary system, Her initial reluctance to join an NLU, her determination to secure a seat in NLU the following year after the drop out. I'm not saying, you haven't at all mentioned it, just that instead of doing it in just one sentence, you can elaborate it such that it will be more clear for readers to connect with the character.
Description - You can work a little bit more here. As has been already mentioned, you can write things elaborately. Her isolation in school, her passion for dance, her resolve, and all her attributes.
Grammar and Punctuation - There are a few errors here and there, nothing another round of Proofreading can't fix.
Conclusion -
I'd say the idea behind the story was amazing. Very relatable and realistic. I really enjoyed reading it. I could see myself as Anika. But as I have already said the execution needs a bit more polishing.
Suggestions - Just a few things - As a reader I personally don't like very short chapters. I mean, a minimum of 800-1000 words will keep the readers engaged. I don't know if I am going too far, but I believe experience will help you in writing. Try reading more books - not just with the perspective of reading, but with the perspective of learning - learning how they framed their sentences, paragraphs. How they described things, emotions as such. I am confident this will help you a lot.
