Not So Average Life

37- Inside Ryan's Head

Still Ryan's point of view-
I didn't know why, but Emma turning me down, actually bothered me a lot. I don't like her. I.. I hate her, I guess I'm just probably used to her liking me.

Today I was walking down the halls, as I passed the washrooms, Kathy and her friends sashayed out happily like they just done something satisfying. Then after a while came a drenched Emma. Kinda expected. Everyone knew Kathy was a bully.

I went and tried to help Emma by giving her some tissues. Oh, I'm only pretending to be nice so she'd do my homework, I don't like her. Duh.

"Hey, here." I handed her a pack of tissues.

She glared at me for a moment then rolled her eyes and walked the opposite direction. Why was she mad at me, I don't even know what I did. Gosh that dramatic girl. No wonder no one likes her.

Today in maths class, I was stuck at a question.

"Hey em..." I stopped as I wanted to call out her name. Although I've been bullying her, I was used to having her around any time to help me.

"Hey Ryan you need some help?" Jessica suddenly said.

"Uh, sure."

The whole time she's explaining, I wasn't really listening. I was staring at Emma chuckling and helping Jace ugh that little bitch. I thought she liked me. Guess she's probably just a play girl. Changing her crush all the time.

Nope this is definitely not jealousy. You think I'll be jealous for Emma? Also, Jace is not even my competition. I scoffed in my head. It's not like I like her or whatever. Stop grossing myself out.

As the bell rang, I dashed towards the door.

"Hey, I wasn't finished." Jessica exclaimed but I ignored her. She's such a tool.

I waited for Emma to come out as I stopped her. "Hey you wanna go to lunch together?" I tried to sound charming while looking away presenting a cool image like I didn't care.

Of course I don't care. Again, I'm just pretending to be nice so she would help me do my stuff, I kept reminding myself. Yep that's what I'm doing.

Instead, Emma just walked away, completely ignoring me. I flew into a rage out of the humiliation. Like who does she think she is to ignore me.

"What is wrong with you?" I grabbed her shoulder forcing her to turn towards me.

She stared at me in shock as she aggressively pulled away from me.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?" She pushed me. "What do you want?" She got louder and beating my chest. "Why can't you just leave me alone!? Why are you being nice to me? Everyone knows you don't like me and now I finally see it. So I'm cutting myself out of your life. Then you come and be all nice to me? I don't understand, what do you want? Blowing hot and cold to me just wanting to string me along. You have all the girls offering to do your homework if that's what you want from me!"  She continued pushing me and beating me chest as Jace pulled her away.

Gosh that man bitch.

I got lost in my thought after what she just said to me. I was speechless, completely K.Oed by her. Yes it's a word. At least in my head. Anyways, I didn't know how I felt.

"Bro, I guess she don't like you anymore, well, no more bothersome girl such a relief right?" Javier, my friend patted my back.

"Yea, yea..... a relief." I faked a laugh, but I didn't felt happy.

Do I really feel relieved? I was confused to how I was feeling. I tried to shrug off whatever weird feeling I have about this incident but I couldn't. I thought about it over the weekend. During the next week, my eyes just involuntarily followed Emma around. I'd sit at the corner back of the class and just stare at her the whole class, trying to figure out what's she thinking. During lunch I sat across her and watch her eat.

"Bro you day dreaming?" Jay turned and saw me staring at Emma's table. "Are you in love with her?"

"What the.... no of course no. I'm just staring at Jace. I really hate him. Yep." I simply lied.

"Yea? Let's go teach him a lesson after school." Cameron suggested.

"Wha..."

"Smart, yep let's go." Jay cut me off.

So after school, Jace, out of the blue just got beat up by us. I felt kind of bad for him. But at the same time my anger vented out.

Wait, do I hate him for being close to Emma? No. Of course not. Ryan what are you even thinking. Who cares about her. I just really don't like him.

The week continued, the more I watch her, I found out Emma was actually really kind. Helping anyone she could but she always gets bullied. I found out she's also quite cute especially when she smiles. It was like her smile could light up a room. She used to always look at me with that smile, but now whenever I try to talk to her, all that's on her face is disgust.

Two weeks later, it's been two unfamiliar week that I didn't speak with Emma. I guess she was serious this time.

Today she sat beside me during biology because there were no seat left. The only seat left that I intendedly left available for her. After a whole class of silent awkwardness between us finally was over, I asked her, "so.... do you want to go to lunch together?"

She stared at me in disbelief, "no." She cold heartedly rejected me.

"Seriously stop playing hard to get." I blurted feeling annoyed.

She scoffed, "I'm playing hard to get? What have you been doing all this time? Stringing me along. So now I'm done, ok. I'm done. Seriously just leave me alone. Isn't that what you want."

"Fine whatever." I muttered under my breath and looked down at my book pretending like I didn't care. But as she walked out, I looked up at her leaving, feeling a hint of regret. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe if I just apologised she'd forgive me. No no no, why would I apologise. Gosh whatever. I'll just find another tool.

Today I woke up learning a bad news, at least to me.

"Ryan, come here." My dad invited me on the couch, smiling.

He's rarely at home, and he's usually very strict he almost never smiled at me. My dad always had high expectations for me. So I went and sat with him wondering what the occasion was.

"So, I was dealing business with a customer and I found out he's the chairman of the prestigious school, Dalton High. So I asked him for a favour and he's getting you into the school. If it goes smoothly, you can transfer next month." My dad said delightedly.

My eyes widened, "what? Dad I don't want to change schools. Not again. I just transferred here not long ago."

"What do you mean? That's a public school. This is Dalton High. Graduating there will get you into almost any college you want." He raised his voice.

"But..."

"Not buts. You're still young you don't know what's best for you. And since I asked for the favour, you'll embarrass me if you don't transfer. That's final." He announced with a strict voice then flipped open his morning paper not sparing me one more look.

I went back to my room feeling down. This has always been my relationship with my dad. I didn't get a say in anything. He does what he thinks is best for me.... or for him.