Not So Average Life

13- Nightmare

I really hated being home alone with them. Not really much hate, more like scared. I'm actually terrified.

So, they had me, sorry, I meant forced me to play dodgeball with them. Except I wasn't allowed to dodge. They practically dragged me to their backyard (FYI it was huge) and made me stand there. They were playing some game of who can aim the best and luckily I was the target.

The first ball came flying towards me, and I reacted naturally like any human being would, I dodged. Then Andrew came and punched me in my stomach knocking the air out of me. I clutched my stomach in pain as Sean smirked. "Try dodging again."

I got back up shakily and stood there. Few balls came flying and luckily they missed. One from Blake however, didn't. This time I didn't dodge but I blocked it with my hands preventing it to hit my face.

This time I got a kick causing me to fall again. Blake grabbed my hair and yanked my head up.  "We said Don't. Fucking. Move. What do you not understand about that?" Then he threw my head to the ground.

"Maybe we should tie her up." Jay joined in.

"That's not such a bad idea." Blake held my chin and stared into my eyes. I could feel his clear blue eyes piercing into mine. "You don't want that to happen do you?"

"That way she couldn't move like at all." Andrew added.

"Wow thank you captain-not-obvious-at-all." Alex rested his hand on Andrew's shoulder. "We had no idea at all."

Andrew pushed Alex's hand off his shoulder. Then Noah burst out laughing causing Andrew to slap his back of forehead.

"Bruh!" Noah shouted.

"Whatever" Andrew replied. "You deserved it."

Then he turned to me. "Don't fucking move." And threw a ball which I received by my face. "That's more like it."

I was so scared of them and I really hate how much they scare me. I don't even dare to stand up for myself.

This went on for like about half an hour I think. But to me it felt like an eternity. Finally, they probably became bored and stopped. But they probably decided that they haven't had enough fun. So Sean and Alex went to the storeroom and took two packs of balls. The small plastic kind. Then they threw it all over the backyard.

"Go pick them up. 400 of it. Not one less." Sean smirked.

"Fucking idiot." Blake kicked me back down to the ground and walked away laughing with the other four brothers.

Well, this is going to be a long night. I sighed so hard no air was left in me. Then I started picking those up. One by one.

I was up to 399 but I couldn't find the last ball.

I knocked on the window alerting Sean. "Can I come in?"

"Did you find 400 of them?" He asked with an amused face of his.

"I couldn't find the last one." I said pathetically.

"Well then don't even think of coming in." He laughed and walked away.

I kept banging on the window but he wouldn't even look. I gave up and continued to find the ball.

Two hours passed. Now I'm tired as shit. Then I saw Jay strolling through the backyard. Holding the last ball. "Oops, guess I forgot to tell you I accidentally took away the last one."

I was furious.

"Don't you have nothing better to do!?" I cracked. Me being surprised as well as for where my confidence came from.

His amused eyes turned deadly. Next thing I know I was on the ground with a bleeding nose.

"You better watch what you say bitch." He shouted then giving me one last of his 'signature kicks' leaving me groaning in pain on the floor before walking away.

I rushed back to my room. My body gave up and dropped on the floor with my nose bleeding.

This was too much. I can't handle it. I was beaten up and tortured almost everyday. What on earth have I ever done to deserve it? Is this going to be my life from now on? Should I get help? Will they hate me even more? Tears were flowing uncontrollably. At that moment I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted all of this to end. I felt so alone, helpless, hopeless.

That was when I saw something shiny on my study table in the stationery holder. A craft knife. It was as if it was calling me.

No, I can't do this. I've sworn to myself that I would never do this the last time I went into depression. But this was just too much.

Just then I felt a little better. So much better actually. I looked down to the sink which flowed with red.

I did it. I should not have done it!

"Shoot" I shouted. I just realised what I did. It was like something came over me. I quickly took some paper towels to wipe and cover up my wound to prevent more blood flowing out. I froze for a moment to process everything. I just self harmed.

Am I getting depressed again? Anxiety? Mental problem? Should I get help? Will I be sent to a mental hospital?

I started overthinking like always. The cut only made me feel better for a moment then everything became worse.

I dropped on my bed feeling physically and mentally drained then went into a deep sleep hoping everything was just a bad dream that I could wake up from.

*THUD*
I fell down from my bed. As I slowly become fully aware of what was happening, a bucket of ice water was poured on me making scream and shiver in coldness.

Then with my not fully awake vision I saw Sean laughing while Blake was kicking the life out of me. This after all, is still a nightmare I can't wake up from.