you my girl.

biting the bullet

lamelos pov

"i know she's like white an everything, but her brothers are black. so she has a personality" i explained

"i could tell she had a personality the day i met her" dr jones smiles with me

"literally same. she was telling me off because i was in her way at 7/11" my brain takes me back to that time. i see it like it was yesterday

"an interesting way to meet, to say the least huh" we laugh.

i've been going therapy constantly the past few weeks, it's been really nice. yeah i can talk to danny but i can't talk shit on her to herself. plus miss jones is a professional, she's good too. she always gets to the bottom of my problems and i feel better leaving her office.

"so i told you how i went to new york, but i didn't tell you about the promise ring thing" i ask

"oh so it was a whole thing? because i knew about the ring, i didn't know there was a story behind it" she crosses one leg over the other

"so your never gonna believe this one" i lean back and grab a pillow

"she made a joke about me marrying her, me being the funny person i am, i get down on one knee giving her the promise ring i was originally going to give" i explained with hand gestures

"and i actually proposed" her eyes shot up, she was so shocked

"not like actually" i assure her. she sighed in relief, followed by a light laugh

"i just like acted like i did. she thought it was real, like she actually started crying"

"oh wow" she shakes her foot back and forth

"yeah but she said yes so that made me feel really good" i tell her

"yeah that's some validation for you" she shakes her head in agreement "exactly"

"well lamelo can i be honest with you here" she uncrossed her leg and leans forward

oh shit...

"yeah of course"

"there is not one doubt, not even one little doubt in my mind that danny loves you. i know for a fact you love her. but i genuinely think she's one of the main reasons you're depressed. i know your getting better but i think we need to bite the bullet here" she says

"what, why? what bullet?" i shake my head

"i think you hold on to her for happiness because your childhood was ripped away from you. you told me yourself that she makes you feel normal, she's the only thing in your life that didn't change by becoming famous" she looks me in the eyes

"exactly, why would i ever wanna get rid of that?"

"i'm not saying get rid of her, i'm saying know that you'll be ok without her" he leans back in her chair again

"ok i'll be ok without her" i wasn't tricking myself, let alone her

"i know you will, but you need to really know that. you need to gain your independence back, understand that caring for others is one thing but neglecting yourself for danny is not ok" she tells me

"okkkkk sooooo what are you saying exactly"

"i'm saying if i was in your position, and i know your not going to like this, i would take a break-"