Sonic Boom My Story

"Mister" Eggman

PART 1: EGGMAN

I'm (Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik) at the DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse to shop with my most hated robots, Orbot & Cubot.

"I love the DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse! Look at this multipack of Ion Diffusers! I only need one, but it's such a bargain!" I walk to the clerk to check out my Ion Diffusers.

"All right, I just need to see your credentials. You know you need a Doctorate in Evil Science to shop here," replies the worker.

"Yeah, last time I sweet-talked the guy. & by 'sweet-talk,' I mean threatened his family."

"It was me. But I'm divorced so you're looking at a man with nothing left to lose."

"Alright, Orbot, print my transcript." Orbot does so & I tear it off. The clerk reads it.

"You're 2 credits short of the grad requirement. You're not a doctor!"

"You know, for a guy with nothing to lose, you care about academic bureaucracy. Let's go. This knucklehead doesn't want our business," I order. I leave with my bots.

PART 2: NARRATOR

While Eggman & the bots leave, Staci Cadman overhears the conversation. She gasps, "Eggman's not a doctor?" She takes out her phone & calls her twin, Perci. "I gotta spread the word... in song!" At Perci's house, she answers the phone & the song starts. Word spreads quickly throughout Seaside.

————————————————————————
Staci (over the phone, singing): Hi, Perci.

Perci: [singing] Hi, Staci.

Staci: [singing] Here's the rumor, in good humor

Perci: [singing] Here's the tale, Walrus Male

Walrus Male: [singing] Tell me all about Mr. Eggman

Dave's Mom: [singing] Hi, Amy

Amy: [singing] Hi, Dave's mom

Dave's Mom: [singing] Here's the babble from the rabble

Amy: [singing] Here's the word, anchor bird

Soar: [singing] Have you heard about Mr. Eggman?

Amy, Beth, Perci, you, & Staci: [singing] He's no longer a doc

Sonic & Knuckles: [singing] No way!

Amy, Beth, Perci, you, & Staci: [singing] His degree is a crock

Sonic & Knuckles: [singing] Oh, word!

Amy, Beth, Perci, you, & Staci: [singing] He was once feared a lot

Sonic & Knuckles: [singing] Sorta

Amy, Beth, Perci, you, & Staci: [singing] Now he's just a crackpot!

Dave: [singing] Hello, Lady Walrus? This is Dave the Intern. Can I talk to your annoying kids?

At Meh Burger, everyone gathers around to keep the song going.

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: [singing] Back to school, boy

Amy, you, Styx, Beth, & Rabbit Girl: [singing, counterpoint] Not a doc, not a doc

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: [singing] You're a fool, boy

Amy, Sticks, you, Beth, & Rabbit Girl: [singing, counterpoint] Not a doc, not a doc

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: [singing] Academia can be cruel, boy

Amy, Sticks, you, Beth, & Rabbit Girl: [counterpoint] Not a doc, not a doc, [singing] His life is a lie