spite || levi x reader

1 - 3

After dinner, there's another lecture on titans. It's only an hour, but it's still far too long for your liking. By the time it's done, you're exhausted. You're not even sure if the Survey Corps are still here; Hange had mentioned a briefing with Shadis but you weren't sure how long that would take.

You can't help but wander back to the mess hall, wondering if they'd really left without saying goodbye. You don't want to overestimate your own importance, but it's unlikely that they just left without saying anything.

Someone's in the mess hall, but it's not any of the scouts- it's one of the cadet instructors, Wystan Baine. "Cadet Logan," he greets when he notices you. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for the scouts, sir," you say, saluting him quickly. "Have they left?"

He frowns. "I'm not sure. But you should be headed to the barracks anyways."

You deflate, visibly disappointed. "Yes, sir."

You turn, and your brain is already turning its gears to concoct some sort of plan to snoop around and see if they actually left when Baine calls your name again. You swivel back towards him. "You used to be in the scouts, right?" he asks.

You purse your lips. Erwin said the instructors were informed about your situation, but none of them have tried to address it besides Shadis's conversation with you earlier today. "Not that I can remember," you say with a weak smile.

It's a lie, because you do remember. Isabel's terrified eyes and Farlan's final smile.

"Ah," Baine says, and he straightens up. "So your... your memory hasn't improved."

"No."

Not exactly a lie, but not really the truth, either. Although you haven't had any specific memories return besides that vivid reminder of the deaths of your friends, you've been picking up little things. Like how easy balancing in the vertical maneuvering gear is for you, how naturally hand to hand combat comes. It's not memories, sure, but you're positive they're skills you excelled in before coming above ground and joining the scouts.

"Alright," he continues, eyeing your warily. "Just wanted to make sure you wouldn't be trying to scare any cadets off from future options."

By 'options', you know he means that he's worried about you saying the horrors outside the walls and you'll scare anyone from wanting to join the Survey Corps.

You press your lips in a thin line. "No one knows about who I was before training," you say firmly.

Baine nods. "Ah. Good, then. Dismissed, cadet. Get some rest."

You nod, saluting one last time, and pivot on your heel to march out the door. You take your walk slow purposefully, hoping that you'll see Levi or Hange, and you're within sight of your barracks and about to lose hope when someone calls your name.

You spin and grin madly when you see Hange. They jog towards you, grinning. "I thought you left!" you say brightly, giving them a hug.

"Not without saying goodbye!" Hange replies, and your heart swells. "We're leaving soon, though. Mason wanted a private word with Shadis, but we'll be out of here in, like, ten minutes."

Mason must be one of the other scouts. "Where's Levi?"

"Probably cleaning the training equipment," they say, and you both nod knowingly. The training equipment is never is great shape, and if Levi got a glimpse of it, he would definitely disinfect the whole building. "Why?"

The words are posed on the tip of your tongue: you want to see him, you want to talk to him, you just want to reconnect after three months. But if he's busy, then, well, he's busy. You shake your head. "No reason."