spite || levi x reader

1 - 15

He's too slow.

Too slow, too sluggish, too imperceptive to save those that are just out of reach, not fast enough to stop Isabel from being decapitated or to stop Eld from getting crushed or to keep Petra from getting kicked into a tree. Then he's not fast enough to save Hange as they get stuffed into the mouth of a titan, or Erwin as his head is ripped from his body. He may as well be a spectator with how slow he's moving, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't make a difference- he can't go fast enough, can't hit hard enough, can't get there soon enough.

But he's not too slow to save you from a titan's jaw. He pulls you out, all in one piece, and he's relieved until you look up at him with wide, confused eyes and ask, "who're you?"

Who're you?

Levi wakes up in a cold sweat.

He gasps, trying to force air into his lungs and nearly coughing. The chill of the fresh air overwhelms him at first until he remembers that he's outside- he came up here with you after you couldn't sleep.

You.

Levi lifts his head. You're buried into his side, your breathing soft as you sleep, forehead pressed against his shoulder. He forces himself to calm down, to slow his heart rate- no sense in waking you up too.

Damn it. He'd actually been sleeping well up until then.

He studies you again. Levi hadn't realized his subconscious fear until he'd seen you in the back of that cart, passed out, bandages wrapped tight around your midsection. It was horribly irrational, painfully stupid- but he couldn't help but remember seeing Mike and Hange load you into a cart after that first expedition, yelling about how you were still alive, blood everywhere-

And then you'd woken up with nothing. You'd lost everything. He'd lost everything. 

It's stupid. He knows that. But Levi doesn't know if he'd be able to handle watching you wake up like that again. Waking up with concerned eyes, pinched lips, caution in your gaze and confusion in your tone.

He can't handle that. Not when you two have come so far, not when he feels the way he does.

Levi glances up at the sky. It's still dark- he has no idea how long until the sun comes up.

He looks back down to you. You look peaceful, which is most definitely an improvement from before. He has the strangest urge to wake you up- his desire to hear your voice, to hear you say his name, to hear that you're here is strong, so strong that he reaches for you, fully intending to shake you awake just so he can hear-

You shift and Levi freezes. One of your hands drifts over his stomach and he hears you mumble, "Levi."

The overwhelming relief that comes from just hearing his name is dizzying. Levi lets his head fall back against the roof, exhaling slowly. You're just sleeping. You're not injured. You're going to know who he is in the morning.

Levi leans over slightly and presses his mouth to your forehead for the sole purpose of feeling your skin under his lips. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to rid the remnants of the last nightmare from his brain.

Then, he shuts his eyes, and Levi does his best to fall back asleep. 

.

You wake up when the sun comes up.

Normally, with Levi, you'd only ever watched the stars at night, or the occasional sunset. You'd only ever seen the sky in its final minutes as it gave way for the evening. Seeing it at its beginning is something else entirely. It makes your entire body feel warm.