spite || levi x reader

2 - 1

You wake up trying to stab Ymir.

It's an accident, of course. Sure, Ymir sometimes makes you want to stab something, but this was just your dream. It's that same stupid flashback that you can't make sense of: curled up into a ball, hiding under something, someone's reaching for you, you've got a knife, you need to kill-

"Geez! What the fuck, Logan?"

When you blink yourself awake, you realize you've got a knife in your hand and it's pointed at Ymir's throat. It's the knife that you keep in the pocket of your pants. When'd you get that out?

"Ymir?" you say in surprise.

She snorts. "Damn fucking right. Who'd you think it was, a titan?"

With a sigh, you lower your hand, knife clattering into your lap. You press your free hand to your forehead. "Sorry," you mutter. "Nightmare."

"Everyone's got those. Get your shit together."

You snort. She's got a point. "Alright. What's up?"

"You were the last one sleeping," she says, and you glance around the large room that they'd stuffed all of the girls into. Everyone is gone except for Krista, who's hovering by the doorway, looking at you worriedly. "C'mon. They're feeding us shitty food and putting us all in the same room again."

"Sounds awful," you say with a roll of your eyes. "Fine, I'm coming."

The squad leaders won't tell you anything. The 104th had been herded onto horses and you'd rode out to a settlement in Wall Rose. You're not even sure this would be considered to be a settlement: it's a few buildings to house a squad's worth of people and horses. You weren't supposed to be training, but the squad of you had done a bit of basic training (sparring and the like) anyways. Otherwise, you've done nothing of note and you've been bored out of your mind.

You asked Mike. He told you nothing. You can't really blame him; if Erwin gave him orders not to, then there's not much you can do. You'd do the same in his shoes.

You can't stop thinking about Willem. Your damn father.

What the fuck was he thinking, attacking you during the day? How desperate does he have to be? And the fact Doctor Fizal was helping him- that damn bitch. She'd never liked you, sure, but you never thought she'd been trying to get you killed.

What had he said? Something about being hard to get at until now?

He really hasn't given up. 

You follow Ymir and Krista to the main room, lost in your thoughts. What is he going to do? Obviously he's still after the same superstitious thing he was last time- you, and killing you to spread your blood over that weird tree. How's he going to go about it?

You take your ration bar without looking up and listlessly follow the girls towards your assigned table with the others. What's his plan? Drag you, kicking and screaming back to the village? Kill you here, collect your blood, and carry that back instead?

Everyone around you is sitting down so you force yourself to sit, glaring hard at the wooden table. What are you going to have to do to get rid of him? You were naïve in thinking your problems would be over when you burnt down the barn and left the farm. Are you going to have to kill him? You're not sure how many qualms you'd have about that, but the idea of widowing Ethel and leaving his kids fatherless makes you feel queasy. It's not their fault their father is a psychotic, manipulating-

"Logan?"

You glance up. "What?"

Bertolt looks like he wants to flinch back. Instead, he holds himself strong and raises his eyebrows. "Are you- not hungry?"