spite || levi x reader

1 - 11

You don't understand how everyone is keeping it together.

Armin's managed to pull himself together and is coming up with some plan to kill the titans in the basement. You'd love to help, but you feel numb. You can't stop replaying Ruth's dead, right above you, her head ripped off and spraying you with blood...

You've lost so many people today. Ruth, Mina, Franz... Eren... Somehow, his death hurts most. He'd been so excited to get out into the world, and he hadn't even got the chance to go beyond the walls.

These kids are fifteen. Fifteen. And they're watching their friends get torn apart in front of their eyes.

With a sigh, you force yourself to your feet. If they can keep it together, so can you. They need you. Some of these kids were looking to you as a leader- bad mistake on their part, but it made sense. You were the only one with some sort of combat experience (even if you didn't remember it). You have to keep yourself and these kids alive.

You promised Levi you'd come back alive. That's exactly what you're going to do.

You jog over to the group, and Armin fills you in on the plan. There's seven titans standing between you and refilling on gas, so everyone's going to pile into the lift and draw the titans in so that seven people can slice at their necks.

"You good with being one of the seven?" Marco asks, nudging you.

You nod. "Yeah. I'm good."

You group up with Mikasa, Connie, Reiner, Bertolt, Jean, and Annie to head down the stairs. Everyone's ditched their maneuver gear due to the lack of gas; you've got a bit left, so you're keeping yours on.

"Can we even kill titans without our vertical maneuver gear?" Connie asks.

"Sure," Reiner says confidently. "The enemy's only in the three or four meter class! That makes their weak spot an easy target."

"I've got a bit of gas left," you say, heading down the stairs. "So if anyone misses, I can back you up."

"Yeah, you've fought titans before," Jean remarks, glancing at you. "You ever kill any, before today?"

You narrow your eyes, frowning as you try to remember. The memory is difficult on you- emotionally draining. "Two," you say quietly.

"What size?" Connie asks.

You shrug. "Maybe eight meters. They weren't spectacular."

"Still impressive," Bertolt murmurs.

You appreciate the sentiment, but now you're lost in your thoughts. "There were at least six of them, I think," you murmur, your words flowing without any thought. "They were all hidden in fog, so we couldn't tell. They slaughtered my whole squad. I watched my best friends die in front of me. At least, I think they were my best friends- I can't remember them."

The silence that follows is deadly. 

Oops. You just killed the mood, didn't you? You drag your sword tip against the wall, probably blunting it, but you don't care. "Titan had me in its hand," you say quietly. "Arms were pinned, foot was broken. Levi saved my life, but when I fell, I hit my head. And my eye, I suppose."

You've got a real talent for causing awkward silences, don't you? You glance behind you; all six of the others and staring at you. You drag your eyes forward again.

"Come on," you muse. "Let's go kill some titans."

The seven of you file into the rafters, eyes open for titans. You count seven- good, no surprises- and you pick out one with black hair and a large nose. There's a creaking sound as the lift starts coming down, piled full with cadets holding guns.