Keep Me Out Of Control // Jenlisa

22: Honestly I Love Her

"Honey, today I heard this strange rumor, when I was in the market." Jennie heard her mother tell her when they were both in the kitchen area. Jennie decided to study for her Term 1 exams, while her mother was washing the dishes. Her father just had dinner and Jennie only started studying after talking to Lisa for 3 hours straight.

After what happened between them earlier on, Jennie didn't want to leave her, but she had no other choice. When she arrived home, Jennie called Lisa and they talked for a really long time. Jennie wanted to keep talking but Lisa advised her to study. Jennie wished she could be with her, but Lisa wanted to be alone right now and Jennie, as a good girlfriend, will respect that. "What is it, ma?" Jennie asked Yejin, while answering one of the equations from her maths test paper questions.

"Some of the women in the market were saying that their daughters were talking about you...." Yejin was saying when Jennie looked at her mother with a confused face. She went back to focus on her work.

"What about me?" Jennie questioned her mother, while writing down the answer to her exercise. Ever since she went from queen of the high school to almost a nobody, Jennie always made sure her mother wouldn't hear awful things about her. But sometimes you can't control what others say about you.

"It was about...about you...and this girl named Lisa. Who is she?" Jennie's hand went off the paper, which made the lead on her pencil break. Yejin knew, that by her daughter's reaction, that what those girls were telling their mothers was the truth. If only they could shut up and mind their own business.

"I think we should sit on the sofa while we are having this conversation." Jennie acknowledged that the kitchen was not the best option, even if their living room was around the corner. It would be the best option to have her mother sit down before the shocking news.

"Alright. Let's go then." Yejin agreed with her daughter and wiped her hands on the cleaning cloth. She walked over to the sofa and sat down, waiting for Jennie to come over. Jennie was nervous of what she was going to tell her mother. It's not everyday that you can come out to your parents. You only have one shot and you have to make them understand that it wasn't a choice and that she is following her heart.

Jennie stood up and breathed out one last time, before walking over to the living room and sitting next to her mother. She placed her hands on her lap and looked at the small coffee table in front of her. Yejin noticed that Jennie was having some troubles figuring out a way to talk to her about Lisa.

Yejin reached for her daughter's hand and held it tightly. "You can tell me anything. I will listen to you, all the time." Yejin's words were a great comfort to Jennie. She closed her eyes and opened them, ready to tell the truth.

"A couple of weeks ago, I ended my relationship with Jungkook, because I was in love with someone else. And that someone else is Lisa. I really don't know what I am, mom, or whether I want to label myself as something. Right now I am just following my heart and my heart is beating for Lisa. I have never felt this way about anyone. All my relationships feel like they didn't matter because of Lisa. I am sorry I didn't tell you before." Yejin hugged Jennie and held her for a couple of minutes.

Without her will, tears were overflowing Jennie's eyes, as they kept streaming down her face. It was an incredible sensation, finally being honest to herself and to her mother. Jennie knew she had to talk to her father still and find a way to make Ella understand. But right now, being held by her mother was the best comfort she was going to get. "You are amazing. But honey I want you to know that not everyone will think that and there will be people who will look at you and this girl Lisa and will say nasty things. But you have to keep your head up and be strong. Be proud of who you are." Yejin kept saying as she was patting Jennie's back.

"I know. I get that. I just don't think I can keep hiding what I feel for Lisa. I love her mom. I honestly love her." Jennie realized that she has never said she loved Lisa. She has thought about it and she has shown that she does love her, but she has never said it. Her mother was getting teary just by hearing Jennie's words. This as the first time she has noticed that Jennie is actually in love with someone.

"What did Joy say about this?" Yejin asked clearing away the tears and Jennie feeling a sudden disappointment in herself. It was normal for her mother to ask what Joy though about this. Joy is Jennie's best friend. More like a sister. They have been best friends forever and they did everything together.

"Joy and I had a fallout." Jennie stated feeling it hard to come in terms with the truth. How she was going to rebuild their friendship was still unknown, but the only thing she knew for certain is that Joy matters the world to her and without her best friend, Jennie won't be completely happy and part of her would always be heartbroken.

"You know, my dear, one can only achieve full happiness, once they find themselves surrounded by people they love. If you and Joy don't fix this, you two will never be content with the life you lead. Listen to me. Fix this." Yejin advised, kissing Jennie's forehead. She stood up and went back to the kitchen to finish washing the dishes.

"I will." Jennie whispered and thought about what she could do. Her mother made a point. Even if Jennie was finally with Lisa, not having Joy in her life would not be the same.